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I was accused of being a narcissist, what do you think?

readingandlearning's picture

My ex accused me of being a narcissist because whenever I confronted him hiding the fact that he was talking to and hanging out with his ex, caught him following scantily clad women on an instagram account that he never mentioned to me he even had, brought up the fact that his kids were being disrespectful or behaving poorly,  when I hung out in another room and disconnected because his kids were being disrespectful towards me, he would yell at me, get in my face and tell me if I didn't like it I could leave and we were done (yes this was a man who wanted me to move in with him and blamed me for the failure of our relationship because I would not move in with him. When he broke up with me he did so when we were out of state on vacation with his family (not mine) and he told me I was a narcissist and was just like my mother (who was emotionally abusive to me my entire life and he knows this because I confided in him about my upbringing during our happier times). Anytime I brought anything up he did not like he would threaten to break up with me and tell me to leave so I should've just kept my mouth shut at all times and not brought up anything.

ExcellenceToolkit's picture

I thought i was in a bad relationship. Yours is worse. Message me. Let's talk.

BethAnne's picture

Sounds like your ex was an awful partner and is a petty and vindictive ex. Time to move on and forget about the idiot. Block, block, block him and find fun things to fill your time with rather than dwelling on the words he deliberately chose to hurt you. 

Fruswowifesmomh's picture

Um... So he's the ex for a reason right? You couldn't get worse than him if you simply prayed, LORD, GIVE ME WORSE. honey, forget about him. 

 

Winterglow's picture

I am SO glad you are no longer in this relationship. Your ex was gaslighting you. Time for him to vanish over the horizon in your rear view mirror. 

Now raise your standards and look to the future, not the past. 

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

I don't know how y'all can make it through life and not be vindictive.

If I had a person treating me that way, I'd call the police on them for anything in life that they've done wrong. Nobody is totally clean. I'd break their stuff, pee on their pillows, mess with their kids, sugar in the gas tank, vinegar traps in their drawers. Hide hunks of meat everywhere in the house, find really good hiding spots so that they're never found. Do anything short of actually getting caught.

Seriously, the only way to fight jackass is with jackass.

justmakingthebest's picture

BLOCK HIS NUMBER.

Seriously girl, don't let this man take up your headspace! Know your worth. Time to get out there and find someone new and fun and have fantastic rebound sex! LOL

beebeel's picture

Please find yourself a therapist. It has been months since this jerk set you free. You should be enjoying the new peace in your life, not obsessing over this prick. 

susanm's picture

First, he is your EX so f*ck him and anything he says or said.

Second, block him for the love of God.

Third, everyone calls people they don't like a narcissist these days.  It is the new thing.  Actual definitions are apparently irrelevant.

Fourth, he sounds absolutely horrible.  So again, f*ck him.

Fifth, get some therapy if you think you need it or get together with some good girlfriends to let loose and be free of this jerk.  Clear your head, decide why you stayed with him as long did and resolve never to do that again, and go find a better life from now on.  This idiot is in your rearview mirror.  Mentally reverse and run over him a few times if necessary and leave him there.

Evil3's picture

There is a narcissist in your past relationship and it wasn't you.

As a survivor of narc abuse in past relationships including both of my parents, may I recommend that you go for some counselling? You need to hear over and over and over again that it wasn't you. You really can change the type of people you attract into your life and you really can realize your self worth. Your life can change so much and for much better.

Harry's picture

You must fine a good mental health person to talk to.  I hope they can help you with your life.  This is no way to live.  You only live once and you have to make it the best for you 

 

markwvualum's picture

You ex was abusive. He accused you of being a narcissist because you stood up for yourself and he probably truly believes you’re a narcissist because you stood up to his abuse and selfishness.He is the narcissist, not you.His behavior is uncalled for and be very glad he is out of your life. Having an Instagram account he never mentioned and following scantily clad women is disrespectful at the very least not to mention disloyal. Hanging out with his ex without telling you is shady as heck. His reactions towards your very legitimate questions were abusive. He sounds like an angry little spoiled brat who never grew up. Mommas boy by chance? Let this narcissist loser go. Someone else can suffer his abuse and lack of integrity. Let someone else help him raise his little brats. It will only be a matter of time before that all blows up in his face too. Enjoy your life without him. It will be so much better believe me.

Siemprematahari's picture

I was accused of being a narcissist, what do you think?

You shouldn't care what this man thinks of you. He's a gaslighting abusive @sshole who projects all his sh!t on you. What he thinks of you is not your concern and if you are not with him anymore it should not be a factor. Keep him in the past where he belongs.

Wishing you much healing!

megansider's picture

Be glad he is your ex. Let him enjoy his life with someone else. I guarantee they will be subpar compared to you and when he realizes this he will come crawling back and realizing how badly he screwed up. Relationships are about trust but no transparency equals no trust. Not communicating to you about things he should definitely mention is not being transparent therefore not being honest. It is lying by ommison.. Choosing his mommy and his kids poor behaviors over you is wrong. People who do this will end up divorced and their marriages are a ticking time bomb. Following barley dressed women on IG is just wrong. He sounds abusive and possible disordered himself. You are not the problem here. Standing up for yourself does not make you a narcissist. Do not believe his abusive words.

MissTexas's picture

and it's a favorite card narcs use. They take their characteristics and accuse you of possessing them, and at some point, many who've been in this situation find themselves second guessing whether or not they are a narc, or the problem.

That's all it is, sugar. It's NOT YOU. Narcs hate it when you stand up to them and  call them out. They never like being found out. It messes up their game.

Good for you! Smart lady.

And no, you do not seem like a narc.

notsobad's picture

As others have said, it's him who is the narcissist not you.

Block him, his number, his email, all social media. Do it quickly and DO NOT look back!

My best friend was in a relationship with a narcissist and he would regularly accuse her of the things that he was doing. When she would go out with friends he would accuse her of meeting men, or of not loving him enough to stay home with him. He would call during the night to find out where she was and what she was doing. Turns out he was meeting women and hooking up and didn't want to run into her at a bar or restaurant. Then he'd make sure he knew waht time she'd be home so that he could get home before her and look like he'd been sitting alone all night waiting for her!

That's just one example of the things he did.

Once they broke up she blocked him and he wasn't able to hoover her back in. She's one of the only women he wasn't able to suck back in.

Here are some examples of Hoovering.

https://lonerwolf.com/hoovering/

Rags's picture

There is definitely a narcissist in this story.  It isn't you.

Im am happy that you put this POS in your past.  Let he and his shallow and polluted gene pool rott in the stench of their family effluent.