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I really cant stand theses weekends

ladybug1974's picture

I have read so many of the same things, I so happy im not alone out there. I cry soo much and i cant stand when they come to us every other weekend. 

My partner is amazing in all ways i mean all ways, but that goes down the drain when i see his standing there at the door every other friday after work.  Pick ups are late so dinner and things run late on fridays. Then the little takes over the tv and watches stupied crap i cant stand. . If i have to hear one more cartoon im going to loose my shit. I have a 25 year son so i have done this all already. The 15 year is kind of ok, weird and off but pleasent and nice to talk too. But at least hes not 8

I feel like throwing up knowing there coming , mostly the 8 year old one. I am very close to ending this because of the kids i just dont want to regret it down the road. 

Sometimes i feel like going to sleep and not waking up so i dont have to feel this way anymore is the way to go. The pain of losing my partner will be almost unbearable, but having the kids every other weekend and wasting my llife away for those kids is somthing that i dont know if i can do. Im very upest and terrified . Im scared. 

 

CLove's picture

Hi! Im scared for you that you are having these feelings. Are you in therapy? Can you talk to a therapist about these feelings? You sound depressed.

Please dont think it is the end of the world if your relationship doesnt work out - there are so many possibilities out there waiting for you, if this isnt right.

Please talk with someone!

ladybug1974's picture

Im very sad i wouldnt say depressed, not normally , i actully a very happy person just not when it comes to his kids, i would nver hurt myself, I just said go to sleep and not wake up to feel this pain and stress anymore, 

GrudgingSM's picture

Do you need to be there for these weekends? Can you take up a hobby that gets you out of the house more or book hotel weekends when they're there?

also, I can't stand the shows my Bio wants to watch and we use headphones for my sanity.

I hope your DH is as wonderful as you say and you can communicate that you feel overwhelmed and need to be out of the house more on those weekends. Or have him take the kids out more. Or whatever problem Solving strategies would help you.

ladybug1974's picture

Yes he did say headphones i think that is a great idea. He really tries to help mehe really does, bends over backwards to make me happy when there around. ear phones i think is a start thank you 

MaryBethC's picture

It is perfectly okay to end a relationship if you don't get along with his kids. Yours are already grown and it sounds like you just don't wanna go through it all again and that's okay! As someone suggested see a therapist, it could help you sort out your feelings.

tog redux's picture

You've said your partner is amazing - have you shared your feelings with him? Why is the little one allowed to "take over the tv"? What is he doing that makes you so upset having him over? I suspect you are defending your partner, but that he's not parenting as well as he could be. At the very least, he's letting his kid watch cartoons all day which would drive just about anyone insane (SpongeBob makes me homicidal).  Ask him to set more limits on the kid.

ESMOD's picture

When she was mayb 6-7 my YSD set up an automatic reminder that flipped our TV over to the channel playing Spongebob whenever it was scheduled to come on.  We had no idea what was going on.. haha.  We would be watching a show.. and all of a sudden there he was!

We had to look up how to change that.. neither of us had ever used that kind of function before.

ladybug1974's picture

lol agreed about sponge bob . he doesnt watch tv all day. he does watch it enough though its usullay what he wants to watch. he shares a room with this brother the 15 year old, there is a 50 inch in there, but the older sleeps in as the younger one gets up at 730 and heads down stairs to the living room so cartoons are on till about 1000 then a slight break, then another show here and there and then again after dinner before bed . 

ladybug1974's picture

he doesnt really do anything to wrong botheres the dog here and there ( i have a reque ) , annoying his brither ,being 8 and whiny , just him being there is a bother. hes just annoying. i dunno if its just one thing or just all of it. 

ESMOD's picture

It sounds like things might be better remedied if the 8yo had his own TV and if he can't keep volume down. he can listen with earphones.  Small color TV's are NOT super expensive and it would be a blessing to you to not have to trip over him right?

 

ladybug1974's picture

We have a 50 inch tv in the room the 2 boiys share it, so The 15 year old sleeps in and the smaller one is up at 730 and watches cartoons till about 1000 then a show during the day here and there , then he gets a show before he goes to bed at 900. 

Harry's picture

Amazing to his kids , not Amasing to you.  Actually you have DH problem.  Taking his side kids over you.

They get clothes, food a bed, not taking over the house, the TV ect,

hereiam's picture

Sometimes i feel like going to sleep and not waking up so i dont have to feel this way anymore is the way to go. The pain of losing my partner will be almost unbearable, but having the kids every other weekend and wasting my llife away for those kids is somthing that i dont know if i can do.

If this is how you feel, this is not the relationship for you. You will find love again. Yes, it will hurt, at first, but it will get better and you will find someone who better suits you.