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"I love you"

stepmominhiding's picture

Please before reading this realize that my 14yo step daughter is very manipulative,  always conniving, very mean, always trying to cause chaos in the house.  


This past few weeks sd14 will randomly call out "I love you  SM"


This makes me feel obligated to tell her that I love her too... but it makes me feel so uncomfortable! What would you do? 

ESMOD's picture

Do you think she is mocking you?  I might say "right back at ya kid" and while it might not be super "true".. sometimes we fake it till we make it.

Dovina's picture

push the comment back on to her "Thats so sweet and what is it that you love about me"...since she is the manipulative mean girl type, it probably kills her inside to say this, but is hoping this benefits her . So make her explain WHY she loves you. Watch her squirm in her answer. 

strugglingSM's picture

She’s likely looking for positive attention and possibly connection.

My overly dramatic, manipulative SS once told me he loved me and I said, “I love you, too!” I’m not sure if I love him, but I do want to have a positive relationship with him, if possible. I also want him to feel comfortable at our home, for my DH’s sake.

Kes's picture

It never would have happened to me, and if it had, I would have known they were lying or manipulating and would not have played along.  I think Dovina's question would be very good, ie "what is it that you love about me?" 

Maxwell09's picture

Could she be delayed? My SS who’s a bit younger has started picking up on my BS4 randomly telling us that he loves us. Usually it’s in the car when we’re singing, he’s having a good moment or tired; we respond with hugs and telling him we love him too. SS8 has noticed it and has started to mimic the behavior. Whether it’s genuine or not, I’ll never know for sure but I respond as if it were until he gives me a reason not to.