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i love him more.

ldytremaine's picture

so my husband has his 6 year old for the summer. the mother and her boyfriend as well as their son live in another state. so we see him usually for summer if not christmas break. since hes been here he acts like a perfect little angel when daddy is around and when he isnt he turns into a little jerk. he ignores me. i tell him to do something he does the opposite. i say turn off the tv its 1:30 in the morning, he says no its not its 1:26. smartass. everytime i addressed these issues with my husband he would tell him you need to listen shes your stepmom. didnt do a damn thing. still a jerk. then he was ignorning me right in front of my husband, so i asked him, "do you not hear me because youre too into your game or the tv, or do you hear me and are just ignoring me?" he was scared to answer cause daddy (i say daddy the way he annoyingly says it) was in the room. so he looked up and said "no im ingoring you" that pissed my husband off, he told him "i bet when your moms stupid ass boyfriend tell you to do something you do it." he went on and on about how the boyfriend was there for his mom and their son. that he has no responsibility to you. and continued calling him ugly names. the kid was in tears.and that he wasnt his stepdad just a boyfriend. i didnt really agree with the way my husband put it out there. when the tears were gone my husband apoliges to him and says do you love daddy? the kid responds by saying "yes i do, but i love him more" slap in the face!! my husband later tells me that his heart just sank and that now hes thinking why should i even bother anymore. im think in hopes that i would say something like "no you are his dad, and he needs more time around us, he was just upset" i didnt really say much other than damn that sucks that he thinks that. sorry. in my head i was thinking soooo does that mean he doesnt have to come back next summer?! fingers crossed.

alwaysanxious's picture

SS6 was probably hurt and no DH should not have said that to him. That was very inappropriate and made SS6 feel like he had to defend sdad.

So-tired's picture

That was nasty of him but children can be nasty. I'm sure he didn't mean it, he just wasn't getting his own way. I think kids do tend to play parents off each other in order to get what they want. His BM's boyfriend probably doesn't have any responsibility and can be his mate whereas your husband is his dad and has to act like a dad, not a friend. I think he went too OTT, but he probably feels threatened which your SS obviously picked up on and used it against him.

I have to admit though I'd be thinking the exact same. I'd feel sad for my husband but secretly thinking does that mean SS won't be here so much! Wink

Disneyfan's picture

Dad made a bunch of mean, hurtful comments to a 6 year old then gets upset/hurt when the kid responded in the same manner. Dad sounds like the jerk not the kid. Why in the world is a 6 year old awake at 1:26?LOL Did dad enroll him in a summer camp? Is he out running and playing with other kids all day? If so, he should be worn out at the end of the day. Turning his back on his 6 year old that he only gets to see once a year, is pretty messed up.

discouraged's picture

I can see why you would say that but honestly if my SS7 didn't have melatonin which the psych told us to use he would literally be up that late everynight and he plays outside all day. The kid has to be super tired but won't give in.

ldytremaine's picture

he goes to bed after 1 every night! while my husband is at school during the day he's home wanting to play video games all day. when we are alone i dont allow it. i hate the whole video game thing. even on the days we take him to the park and hes running around all day he doesnt go to bed! we make him come upstairs. i turn everything off and he'll act stupid and stay up. "oh, i forgot to brush my teeth" "i think i want a snack" "oh now i have to go pee" then he wants to sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. all these bad habits are things i know he gets away with when he is with his mother. you can just tell that he does whatever he wants. hes takes a good 45 minutes to eat a damn bowl of mac and cheese cause hes just messing around. he talks soooo loud, i finally heard him on the phone with his mom and she talks to him the same way. so i can see where he gets it from. now everytime i tell him "stop that" or "dont do that" he wants to call his mom then acts a fool when hes done talking to her. so now im seeing that maybe hes not acting out when hes here thats just his usual behavior. being a brat.

discouraged's picture

Idytremaine-I so feel your pain on this one my SS7 is exactly the same way-but we have him all the time-there is no break for my BioD or myself. He said the other morning after he had been super nasty to me, "I'll act right when my dad gets out of the shower." Man nothing makes me angrier than a kid that knows exactly how to manipulate a whole family! GRRRR. I'll be thinking of you.