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I have to take a break

Someoneelse's picture

Some of you have brought clarity to my last post, i still think she's being creepy... but maybe disturbing is too strong of a word.  But with everything sd17 has done to try to destroy our family, my hatred does at time fog my judgment for her. And those of you who were not so harsh, but did discuss things rationally with me i appreciate it. 

Maybe it seems to some of you that I'm obsessed over sd, but i only come here to vent about sd, I'm not her talking about my day to day life, so my posts only revolve around sd... but that is LITERALLY what this page is for, so idk..... anyways, i am going to take a little break for me, get some me time, going on a vacation getting some spa time in.


Like i said thank you for the kind insightful wordsto those few who shared them. 

Harry's picture

She is taking too much head space.  There nothing you can do.  She has a BM and BF to worry,and  guide her.  
Sincewhat you do really doesn't matter.  Disengage.  Think good thoughts of other things,   

Someoneelse's picture

I have in the past, disengaged, and I fully intend to after my little vacation. It is HARD for me to disengage, as in the past when I did she has brought my daughters into her manipulations and harmed them emotionally, to the point that my oldest has attempted suicide a few times (I do not fully blame this on SD, as depression does run in my family, but the attempts were in direct relation to SD's treatment towards her). Disengaging has been extremely difficult on me the past  few years, as her behavior has been hard on DH, and he has lost family (through being basically disowned by his 2 uncles after both his father and brother died), and SD has taken to "not coming back" when she doesn't get her way. And to see the emotional distress it causes DH is extremely hard for me to see... but I do agree that I will be disengaging for my own mental health.

AlmostGone834's picture

OP you are entitled to your feelings. We aren't there so if your gut is telling you that something is up with SD, listen to it. I hope I wasn't too harsh in my response and I hope you will come back as needed to continue to vent here. You're right - this is the purpose of this site... I mean we aren't here to discuss gardening tips or anything haha. 

As an aside, I also allow SD to live rent free in my head (perhaps more than I should but being "aware" has given me the advantage many times in the past - insight if you will to her tricks). WhileI am disengaged I still keep my ear to the ground. For example if she comes to us at Christmas and says I need X amount of money for (insert reason that is completely beyond her control) I will not be fooled. Paying attention has informed me of her spending addiction which is slowly sinking her deeper and deeper into debt.

Also I hope you enjoy your vacation!

Someoneelse's picture

Thank you! I am mostly talking about those who were trying to say that I was making things up or calling me names. Those were the ones that offered no help, and were just there to be bullies. I think between you and Rags, I found a bit of clarity in my situation. So my gratitude is extended to you as well.

2Tired4Drama's picture

BTW, Rags was pretty clear:  "You are way too fixated on SD-17 and her attractions to teen boys. Which are entirely normal IMHO. What are YOU going to do differently to get this crap out of your head?"

Those who challenged you had valid points. I don't see any posts where you were called names. But there were people who legitimately had questions about your responses. 

Please reflect on why you have developed this unhealthy fixation (i.e. crap in your head, per Rags) on this teen girl's normal interest in boys. What in your past has happened that you are focused on this? That's something to discuss with a professional, IMO. 

I think when you are able to do so you will be in a much better mental space and will be able to cope not just with steplife but with life in general. You won't feel like a victim or bullied, because you will gain clarity on why you are feeling/acting this way. 

Best wishes on your journey...

Someoneelse's picture

I had no problem with rags telling me that i was too fixated on sd. I do have a problem with the way that people taking me i was lying,  trying to tear my post apart peice by peice, and then when I try to explain what i meant then telling me that i have an issue.


But since i left that post and have not gone back to it, yet you want to bring the same drama here, does that mean you're hyper fixated on me?  Why don't you just leave me alone, because obviously we have a different set of morals, because i still find sd's behavior creepy. I'm just going to ignore her behavior and watch her get called out at school over it, she's already lost all of her friends at school due to her creepy gross behavior, everyone at school is hyper fixated on her because of her creepy behavior. It won't take long for this to but her in the a$$. Don't worry, when it does, I'll let you know. 

Rags's picture

Many here want the best for you. You have to not only want that for yourself, you have to make it happen. 

Your SD fixation seems to starting to change. Do not replace that with oversensitivity to firm focused input from people who are trying guide, help and support your efforts to change your life and put this failed family behind you.  When you see them for what they are, DH, SD, etc... then and only then will you finally lock into a new life and future without them.

Any engagment with them at all, including continuing to let them have space in your head, is detrimental to you and your future. Block them, zero contact, zero thought, move on.

Just my thoughts of course.

Take care of you.

Good luck.

Someoneelse's picture

I'm not being fixated on this poster, don't worry, i just find it odd, that they went from this post read all my comments, went back to my last post sorted through all the comments just to find a comment that they thought would prove a point to me copied and came back to this post to paste it... seems a bit fixated... that's all i was saying.  I'm not word about them, i arrived at my vacation destination this morning and am about to turn my phone off for a few days.  See y'all on the flip side.

CLove's picture

Im so sorry that you had to deal with all that! And your kiddo too.

Sucks that these low-lifes have such an impact on our lives. SD23 Feral Forger and Toxic Troll BM, they lived in my head for too long.

And now SD16 Snotty McPouterSulk. Too much space in my head and too many arguments to count.

Your Sd talking about someones "package" WAS totally creepy. And with the background you gave, no wonder you need a vacation.

The wonderful things that I have realized are that these people suck. And someone else not us has to deal with it.

Rags's picture

epiphany to engage in a new way of addressing the challenges of DH, TT, FF and SMPS.

Keep the toxic trio of harpies in their place. They are not worthy of one give a shit from you and are not  worth one bit of pain, sorrow or concern for you.

Take care of yourself.

That is my hope for anyone struggling with the blended family adventure.   

CLove's picture

Did a 5.9 (yep) mile walk. Not much elevation gaine. But it was super peaceful and didnt really think much about steplife...