I gave up on therapy. I can't share with friends or family, now it comes only to steptalk. 
 

just need to ket it all out. Skids, twins, boys, 14 yo hate me. I found out when I heard one of them yelling to their dad how they hate that stupid bitch, evil stepmom etc. DH didnt do anything to stop them, talked to the later, thats what he said. I disengaged, just hi, bye. They now give me a big amount of discomfort when they are around after what I heard. Their mom was gone for most part of their lives, partying and living her life. DH has the full custody. Ex wife hates DH and me and now she appeared and contacted the twins and invited them over the summer holidays to go in another country etc. I really had a bad feeling that these boys will come back hating me even more, last time Ex wife tried to do everything to ruin our relationship, even posting online intimate details about their past relationship. She called my parents and said awful things to them about my husband, she made up that we all physically abuse the children and keep them trapped. And now she appears after so many years and wants them to go on holidays with her, I said no to my husband, not to let them go and get brainwashed there. They are not going to let us live at all after her. 
he agreed and they are not going now, they got hysterical over it, telling him awful things that he spends all his time with his new family, that he doesn't want them to live with us, that he never has time for them etc. Now he is super guilty as always, he never recognizes those manipulations. Now he is ready to go on vacation with them in the summer for two weeks, after that he wants to spend more time with them again, to compensate etc. I never want to go on vacation all together anymore, and vacay will cost a lot of money, this also bothers me. I can't say that I get enough time with DH, he is always on business trips, on the phone, at work. We never go out, no dates, sex happens very rarely as well. When I tell him this, he denies, I guess he feels that time is more than enough for me. I married him young and kids free, while he is 13 years senior and had 3 kids already. I feel this is so unfair, I have to give up on so many things, compromise, beacuse of those kids. I can't have my famiy ONLY, it's always some kind of a mix up feeling. 
We have a daughter together, she is almost 4. I was a stay at home mom all this time. I really need to start making my own money so I have more options and better protected. Maybe if I start having my own life outside of home, it won't bother me that much?