I have no more trust left
The latest is that we have come to a head over the fact that I want him to not speak of our personal business to the BM and what goes on in our marriage. Things that do NOT have anything to do with his daughter. He wants to be friends with her and believes that he should be able to say whatever he wants. That if he tells her for example that we are getting divorced, which he has done several times, as we are trying to work things out he says well we were/are, and his daughter needs to be prepared or they need to be prepared to help her through it. I have been around since she was a baby. I feel like it is private until it is a done deal. There have been other things in the past where she then starts cause stuff between us because she knows that we are on outs. He also thinks it is okay if her 15th guy that she has been involved with "breaks her heart" that she should be able to call him whenever to vent, cry etc. because he needs 'to make sure his daughters mother is stable." I say she lost that right when they divorced. Mind you the daugheter is in bed or at school. It isn't even like I am a mess I need help with the daughter. It is like I can never move on because I can't trust due to what happened in our marriage and another relationship is lost. I cannot wrap my head around it. I have put up with it on and off for years. Other things have made me resentful and I just disengaged myself from the situation and periodically I do say something but I used to think I was being helpful. I really think he just wants out, but even if I can wrap my head around okay there can be friends, I cannot let go of the our relationship is private. So when she says am I there? am I home? Instead of saying no we are on the outs she went to her moms for the weekend, say nothing or she shouldn't ask. Or nope we are fighting again. They also talk privately when I am not around I have no idea what is being said, but it is more than what is going on with the daughter and always more when we are fighting or I am not around. He is ready to leave a 5 year marriage over this. If 'I" can't be okay with their relationship the way it is, he will divorce me. The sad thing is our not so good marriage counselor agrees with him. She said I have no right to ask him not to do those things, and I say he needs to respect my wishes! I think our marriage is going to end. Any insight to those in similar situations? I have such a hard time that he doesn't think he needs to respect my wishes, and I as bad as I want to let go of the past things that have happend I can't.