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I have to let go of the resentment

Chloe's picture

Submitted by Chloe on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 6:44pm

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As the new wife and step mother I have experienced so many of the issues I am reading about on here. Many of our issues have been addressed and for the most part taken care of. But, I have so much resentment toward DH's family and BM that is it eating me up and damaging my marriage. I have been to counseling for months. It has helped but I still find myself dwelling on it when something triggers my memory. My counselor said it would take me up to twelve months to be able to put things behind me since the degree of the betrayal was so deep. I am nearly to that point and just want it to all go away. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

CrystalRE's picture

Submitted by CrystalRE on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 10:51am

I have been dealing with the drama of my husbands previous marriage for close to four years now. I can tell you that it has been over a year since we have had any MAJOR issues with BM or MIL/FIL but I still feel the betrayal and resentment. I agree with Stepma when she says that disengaging helps some but have found that DH needs to take responsibility for easing you back into your comfort zone. I dont know what kind of betrayal you are speaking of but I can tell you that the kind that I suffered was also severe. Lies, manipulation, desertion, etc. A lot of my being able to forget about some of the issues we had has hinged on how DH reacts to a situation. I read a lot of books on blended families, use my close friends for support.