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I hate my step kids even more now I have my own child

hunibuniboo1001's picture

I feel terrible for saying it but I really do hate my 2 step sons who are 5 and 9. I get on ok with the younger one but the older one is sneaky, rude, horrible and spoilt. Since I had my own daughter 3 months ago I thought I would bond with them more but I actually hate them more. I feel like I don't want to be in my own house when they come round to stay and the older one constantly pokes my baby and I swear to god im going to loose it. my partner I love to pieces but he just doesn't know how to tell them off so its left to me.... it caused a massive argument the other night as his parents who look after them sometimes don't tell them off either so they are spoilt and rude and I look like the bad person cause I tell them off. but now I actually don't care. my partner has shared custody of the children and they are staying with us for 9 nights now and I really don't know how im going to cope. I cant leave my baby alone for one second cause the eldest will start doing things to her grrrr can not relax in my own home. is it bad that I hate them so much? and how do I get through the next 9 days.

hunibuniboo1001's picture

yeah I was sick of no one telling him off so I stepped in now I have told him its up to him to do it. his eldest was horrible to me when I was pregnant he chucked my phone at my stomach and laughed. the then said a car is going to come down the road and kill me and my baby. since she has been born he wont leave her alone scratching her neck saying tickle tickle, picks her eye, keeps touching her face and poking, leaning on her and sticking his fingers in her mouth when I tell him to stop he doesn't listen and does it again. I have told my partner hes not staying round until he gets councilling I said he needed help 3 years ago cause he has other issues too but he didn't want to believe it... now its got to this... him now not leaving my daughter alone.

LuckyGirl's picture

God God woman grow a backbone, if either of my SD's had dared do that to me that would have been the last time they came over.

I suggest you wait until you're alone with the little brat, go down to his level, look him in the eye and say "if you ever hurt the baby I will personally rip your f*cking heart out and feed it to the dog. Got it?". Say it slow and menacing and mean every word.

The tackle your DH. He is being a sh*t excuse of a father to all three children. You need to accept that you already knew that and nonetheless chose to have a child with him anyway: however, that doesn't mean the situation has to continue. Sit him down, tell him EXACTLY what you expect of him as a partner and a mate and tell him to shape up or ship out. Again, mean every Word of it.

Your baby's safety is at stake here. Protect her.

Nope's picture

Yeah that kid needs to be in therapy and not around your baby until he's deemed safe. I've been through this with a 5 year old. It can get better but right now you're all brewing a very dangerous situation.

notasm3's picture

First of all - when it comes to protecting your infant daughter it DOES NOT matter if you look like the bad person. You need to go bat shit crazy on the little fucktards if they so much as look like they are going to harm your newborn baby. There is no room for being polite or "nice" when the welfare of a defenseless infant is at stake.

And yes - your partner is being a shitty parent to ALL of his children.

Nope's picture

No no no. You don't grab him or threaten him. Jesus. FIND A THERAPIST to evaluate him and do play therapy with him. He needs to get his emotions in check before he hurts someone. Grabbing him will make you the enemy (and put your baby in more danger). My stepson was bullying my 1 year old and I insisted he stay at his mom's until he'd had 6 weeks of therapy and the therapist found him safe. It turned out that he was attacking my baby because he wanted to attack me, and I was the substitute for his real rage and pain, which was, get ready for it: BIO MOM. SS5 had complained to BM about the upcoming wedding to BM's new husband. SS5 told her he wanted BM and H to get married again. BM told ss"she couldn't marry dad because dad had Nope." Thus, the chain reaction where my 14 month old was being pushed to the ground and pinched whenever I wasn't watching. Hell, nope. Get the kid in therapy, reduce your negativity with him, and keep him the hell away from the baby.

neskajy's picture

That is my fear that after I have my own baby, my feelings for my step daughter will change even more...And she lives with us permanently. I guess at least you don't have to deal with them 24/7 every day (but I know that is not helpful regardless). I have no advice unfortunately. I am a soon-to-be step mother and I am pretty distressed about it already.

hunibuniboo1001's picture

Does it get any better? I feel bad cause they boys seem like they like me but I cant actually stand them so it makes it difficult. I guess as well cause they are apart of my partners ex im grossed out by them cause she is an evil women.