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I had a dream last night that was very real and I HATED IT

Someoneelse's picture

So my dream BM was over in our back yard talking to DH, and she held his hand... I said, "excuse me, please don't touch my husband" DH did nothing... I told DH I did not like it, and that he needed to make her let go of him... but then she took him to the front yard. I went inside, fuming! Then they came in, and BM said to me "don't worry, we didn't make out" I explained to my husband that it was about boundaries, I wasn't worried that they were "going to make out", that we both HATE BM, that he doesn't hold his friends' hands, that I don't hold my guy friends' hands, why would I hold hands with someone that I HATED? Then I mentioned he wouldn't like it if I held hands with my exes.

 

I know this was a dream, but I just needed to vent, because I could TOTALLY see this happening IRL.... my husband is a moron sometimes, like he would feel like "well, what m I supposed to do? yank my hands away and say 'don't touch me' like a child?" YES! if you don't want someone touching you, you back up... duh!

Sorry, thanks again for letting me vent!

Yesterdays's picture

Uggg yes somehow I relate to this. Like my hubbys acquaintance lady at a party fawning all over and him and he says and does  nothing then says well what was I supposed to do.

Walk away.. Walk away is the answer! It's not rocket science. Don't let a lady fawn on you.

Your husbands reaction is the exact same as mine.. The "I can't pull away like a kid that would be embarrassing" Ummm well how about say you have to go the bathroom or that it was nice chatting and Buh Bye or any other rando excuse 

Someoneelse's picture

RIGHT?! But then if the shoe was on the other foot, they'd be PISSED! why did you let him touch you like that? why didn't you tell him that it wasn't ok? why didn't you just leave? ANYTIME  I am in a conversation with another man, I MAKE A POINT to talk about my husband. "oh my husband loves going on cruises", "my husband does *insert husbands job* for a living", "my husband and I enjoy doing *insert activity we like* on the weekends" I never give a guy any opportunity to think I am interested. and my husband has said he loves that about me... so why can't he do the same? He makes a point to tell me how anytime he goes out he gets hit on... mostly by gay men, or couples looking for a "unicorn" (as he likes to call it) my husband is not gay or bi, and not interested in a 3some, but it's like, why are you giving off vibes that you are not married and taken? I very much give those vibes

Yesterdays's picture

I give those vibes as well.. The cold shoulder. I don't linger in the driveway talking to neighbor men etc. I don't put myself in that position 

Rags's picture

We talk about each other when approached.  When we were over seas, I had a number of OCN women I worked with make overtures.  I would tell them to call my wife.  DW had any number of men from any number of countries approach her while we were Expats.  She would always introduce them to me.  Those responses pretty much shut any approaches down.

It is flattering to have some be interested. It can and should  be handled with class, kindness and with clarity that there is no interest and why.

SeeYouNever's picture

My husband is super friendly and wants to be BFFs with every new person he meets male or female. I've had to tell him to back it off sometimes because he comes on very strong. If he wants to hang out with a new couple or a new guy it's okay but when it's a woman it really comes across like he is hitting on them.

Once he was trying to get a female co-worker and her family to hang out with him and his family (me) and she kept being friendly but declining. I had to explain to my own husband that this woman was not interested in being his friend. Super awkward.

He does have good physical boundaries though. If he goes out without me it's only with other male friends and not a mixed group.

The last time I was mad at him for a dream was when in the dream he told me he had to go to work instead of help me bury a body!! Lol what a dream that was.