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I get no say?

gapeach12's picture

Super annoyed that my DH just told me SD will be staying an the entire next week. And our anniversary happens to fall that week, to which he says, "We can do something just the two of us the week after." He only has EOWE so I really don't mind him wanting more time with his child, but is it reasonable for me to ask to be consulted at least? This affects me too. Not to mention, we just had her for two weeks, and she just went back home on Monday, and is already back this weekend for her regular visitation. I just feel like I'm never considered in these situations when he asks for more time from BM. Please let me know if I'm being selfish here.

Dogmom1321's picture

Absolutely not. DH should have said "I know it's our anniversary & we weren't planning on having SD. Don't worry, I will find a sitter so we can still celebrate." 

Also, you said HE is the one asking for this extra time? That's pretty inconsiderate that he isn't asking you at all. We have had SD11 last minute many times... but always because of BM dumping her off. Not a lack of planning or asking for "extra time" on my DHs part. I've realized DH can only deal with BMs behavior, not control it.

Cover1W's picture

Yes, the summer schedule that's decided on each and every time with no step input.

This year YSD15 is here practically the entire month of August. And yes, on our anniversary which is rare. So I simply didn't plan anything. DH then wanted to do our anniversary a month early. Well no DH, that won't work either because.....YSD is here!

I would personally not go out of my way to plan anything at this point. So do something for yourself! I have made plans with friends, even doing something with them that I was encouraging DH and YSD to do as well but they just didn't care. I told DH about my plans recently and he seemed disappointed, but not my issue if you and YSD didn't seem to care!

If you get no say he gets no help, no responsibility will fall onto you.

Rags's picture

Consulted or not.... when he "tells" you that his child will usurp your anniversary you give him clarity.

"No. And if you do not correct this with immediacy and if you ever forget that our marriage, including every one of our anniversaries, takes priority over all else for both of us including your failed family progeny then that anniversary is likely to be your last with me."

People who pull this kind of mindless crap are a mystery to me.

Then use that as the starting over point in your marriage.

Happy anniversary by the way.