I Finally Made my Husband Move Out - I'm DH and SD Free!!
If you all go back and read my last post about my situation, you’ll see how horrible it was. You can find it at “Unappreciated Step Mom- Over It!”
Well, I’m no longer in a relationship with my DH. We are separated. I made him move out at the beginning of June. Because of all that has happened, the issues with his daughters, major mini wife issues, guilty dad issues, never putting me first as his wife, putting the WANTS of his ex wife and daughters before me, emotional abuse, doesn’t communicate, gaslighting, has pushed me physically, he just got his 6th DUI, etc.
His kids were coming to stay with him for the summer and I finally put my foot down and said, no, you haven’t shown me change so you have to find your own place with them. Then you can show me and prove to me if things are changing.
The first weekend without him living there was soooo hard, I cried and was so depressed but it’s gotten better. Some days are better than others but I’m feeling stronger. I’ve been working on myself. Reading, meditating, focusing on my work and my daughter (26 years old), found a new love of Yoga. So again, doing ok.
The thing that hurts me though is that I’m upset that he isn’t showing me different, isn’t fighting for me or us. Is still the same. Very stubborn, prideful and full of ego. I feel that because his daughters are here now and he has his own place to live why would he fight for me or us? He has everything he wants, right? Because of this I feel so used and taken for granted and discarded. I really thought that he would change and step up. I mean, if he said he loves me and knew that he’s on the verge of losing his wife, who was so good to him and his children and was there for him and them, to divorce that he would show me different. Well, he hasn’t. I’m shocked and hurt. Maybe it’s my pride and ego or maybe it’s just because I have a right to feel that way.
Has anyone else who mustered up the strength to remove themselves from step HELL, gone through this? Where the dad just doesn’t care, come back, etc.
Do they eventually regret it?
I have a feeling once the kids go back to their mom at the end of summer, that’s when he’ll realize but who knows. It’s just not right.
Any suggestions on how to deal?
P.S. I thought to myself yesterday. Why are we still married? I’m not benefiting anything from being married to him. Not financially (I support myself, do well for myself and always have), we have no joint assets, not emotionally, not spiritually, not intimately, not supportive wise. NOTHING. So why do I even care right?