My BF has 2 children by 2 different women. His oldest child is 6 and was basically conceived from casual sex. He is in the process of taking that BM back to court for 50/50. They don't have a good working relationship because she rarely responds to him. I must admit that I like it this way. And I also favor this child more than his 2nd child. In fact, I'm VERY close with his first child and he is very close to me as well. I get along with BM well, too.

Child number 2 is 5. He married the mother when she was 3 months pregnant and they divorced just shy of the childs 3rd birthday. She was having an affair and is still with the guy. The child is, ehh, not my favorite kid. He is needy and bossy, but I suppose that comes with being 5? BM and BF have a very tight working relationship. They went from totally hating eachother, to, OK, lets make this work out so we have a happy kid. Great. Ehh, not so much. It's great that they have 50/50 and he no longer pays child support, but not so great that they talk twice/day and text eachother 2-3 times as well...about the child, his schooling, his activities, etc. I hate it, but somehow over the past couple of months, I've learned to accept it. I believe when the child is a bit older, the constant communication will end. I hope.

So, why do I feel guilty for wanting out? I love him to death and I think I can tolerate his kids and BM's for the rest of our lives. He is a wonderful father and has a heart of gold. We have so much in common. The thing is, we have different love languages or something. I'm always the one who has to initiate a "date" with him - it always has to revolve around his time. I'm always the one to go over there. He never does anything nice for me, e.g., never flowers, never a card. He shows me no appreciation for anything I do for him and his children. I cook when I come over (from scratch), I buy them and him things out of the goodness of my heart, I help with homework, I put love notes in weird places for him to discover. He showers me with kisses, which I love, but am I wrong to desire something more, like a card? To me, buying me something like a card, shows that he thinks of me when we aren't together. I don't know how often he thinks of me when we aren't together. He calls once/day as a routine, but that's as good as it gets other than he pays for dinner when we occasionally go out. He doesnt meet my emotional needs per se, but sometimes I wonder if I require too much attention, u know? And he has a lot of "girlfriends" at work who are just crazy about him. In fact, his "dog-sitter"/coworker made him a cake when he was in Vegas. The cake said "boo" on it in red. He claims it was from her and boo meant nothing other than "gotcha". But I also know that his exgf uses the word "boo" to reference people, e.g, "hey Boo" and I wonder if it was really from her. They are still friends.

Anyway, I tried talking to him about it and he agreed with me that he needs to make more effort, but it's been several weeks since the chat and nothing has changed. Soooo, out of pure frustration this week, I agreed to go out on a blind date with a coworkers neighbor. I just got home tonight and my BF is at work. The blind date isn't my type at all, but now I'm thinking that there are other men out there who do nice things for their gf, right? AM I being unreasonable to want these things in return? He is going to be heartbroken and so will his oldest son. It makes me so sad to think about life without him, but I'm starting to get tired of not feeling loved and appreciated.