So I abruptly ended my relationship last night via text message. I think I finally reached a breaking point with someone I've grown to believe has manipulated me and conned me and someone I believe could possibly be a narcissist. 
 

Hindsight really is 20/20...when we met, this man appeared to be the man of my dreams. He swept me off my feet in all aspects- affection, attention, promises of devotion, incredible sex, shared goals for the future, many shared interests, etc. He told me I was someone he never dreamed he would find. He told me the first night we met that he had a 5 year old daughter. I was very apprehensive. Tried to take it slowly but that just didn't end up happening and my hormones got the best of me (looking back I'd call it classic love bombing and I shouldn't blame myself entirely for falling for the ruse). 
 

Two weeks in he told me he loved me. Three weeks in that he wanted to marry me. Five weeks in that I should show him which rings I liked. I ate it up. Stupidly. I should have seen the red flags but sadly I did not. He knew I just came out of a relationship where the person was not ready to commit and I think he fed off of that knowledge to entrap me. He pushed hard for me to meet his daughter. Quickly. So after a month and a half I met the girl. She fell in love with me and the feeling was mutual as she is a wonderful little girl. 
 

He has 50/50 custody and in the beginning he never mention too much about her mother, just that they had been in a 10 year relationship (he is 34 now) and she had an ongoing affair with her personal trainer from the time the daughter was around 1.5/2 years old. Went on for a year before she ended it and moved out. Long story short, but turns out I know said personal trainer as we used to work together years ago (he is a creep who would constantly hit on anything that walked). My boyfriend told me that the BM was a narcissist and I believed him. Ha. She's no angel, but now I believe they were well matched because he turned into a complete asshat as well. 
 

Blah blah, wonderful summer was had but I began to see the red flags once the rose colored glasses came off. When we began dating I asked him if he was truly ready for a relationship and the sacrifice it would take including having to sacrifice time with his daughter once in a while if needed. He promised he was and promised that he understood that a relationship would need to be a priority and that of our relationship was solid it would trickle down to his parenting. Lies. 
 

We work opposite schedules as I work 12 hour night shifts and he works a typical 9-5. We are mostly ships passing in the night during the week and the only time off together we had would be weekends. Which he has his daughter every weekend and every other Tuesday. At first it was fine as I enjoyed spending time with them together. But I quickly realized that this situation meant we would essentially NEVER have alone time together. Of course he did not mind, he had acquired a nanny, f### buddy, house keeper, someone to help buy groceries (don't live together but I stay there every night)...he did not kind one bit. He found someone to pop into the role his ex left empty when she left him. This started to become a problem for me as I began to feel used and neglected and 100% unimportant. I did everything for him in the beginning because I genuinely didnt mine because he appreciated it at the beginning. Then he didn't appreciate it anymore. Took it all for granted and never helped clean HIS house. Made me go to the store every time we needed food. Would ask me to go to the store fridays so there would be food for his precious when she got there, even though he had obviously known all week she was coming. 
 

Then came the realization that his daughter was unable to sleep in her own bed, and unable to sleep without daddyyyy cuddling with her. He assured me he was working on it as she was starting school at the end of last summer and the goal was for her to be in her own bed by then. He put in zero effort into making this happen. His effort was to go upstairs with her  in his bed then come down after. Half the time he fell asleep and left me alone on the couch. Pissed me the f### off. The other half he would move her to her bed so we could sleep in his bed, but she would wake up and come running in so daddy had to go in her bed with her to go back to sleep. Multiple times a night. This began to affect my quality of sleep  and he didn't give one shit if i was exhausted the next day/night at work because of it. 
 

This is on top of me knowing the girl still sucks her thumb and brings a security blanket everywhere as well as the fact that she's not able to spend a minute alone in her own home without one of us attached to her hip. Okay fine I see there are some serious issues brewing but it's not my place to interject these concerns as I am just a girlfriend. I begin noticing that she cannot run up to her room to grab a game or toy without one of us going with her. And would cry if we said to go get it alone. He gives in every time. Whatever. Your parenting choices I suppose. But I begin to care for the girl deeply. The thumb sucking has led her to develop a bad speech impediment and when school started she began having a hard time learning to read because of it. He refused to admit it was because of the thumb sucking. "Every child develops at their own pace". Sure, but there are also certain milestones that hopefully are being met at every age. 
 

Then came the other realization that he was not truthful when it came to making any sacrifice for the sake of our relationship. My birthday fell on a weekend and he promised he would have her spend some time with his parents so we could have a bit of alone time. Well the weekend comes and we take her to see my friend's band play, and he completely BLINDSIDES ME by inviting his parents (whom I had not met yet because we had only been together for 4 months at this time, meeting his daughter so soon was already a lot for me and he knew this). So we get out of the car and he goes "oh, my parents are here." F###ing pr###. And I had to act like it was no big deal but it really bothered me he did not respect my wishes and did that the day before my birthday. So we spent the day talking inside with them and me not even getting to catch my friend playing outside of where we were. Okay......next day is my birthday which his parents invited us to some random clam bake and I didn't have enough balls to tell them I wasn't interested because what was I to say??? They all put me on the spot and I was trying to play gracious girlfriend but inside I was not happy. We got to the clam bake and it turns out to be fun, but I want alone time with my boyfriend and his parents offer to take the daughter so we could go do something for a few hours. He hems and haws and finally says no we'll just take her with us. PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH. This is on top of him getting me literally nothing not even a lousy card as "your birthday crept up on me". I felt lied to and I should have taken that as the first and only sign I needed that this man was all talk, no action, and I would never be a priority above his precious. I just wanted a few hours on my birthday with him...
 

Anyways fast forward another couple of months and daughter still not sleeping alone, boyfriend still not making ANY progress on any of the issues- thumb sucking, attachment, speech, etc. I am growing increasingly frustrated being his house bitch who takes care of everything including his child and he is less and less appreciative. "I shouldn't have to tell you I appreciate you, you should just feel it." Well I'm telling you I DO NOT FEEL IT. 
 

Still zero alone time with him and it begins to give me bad anxiety as he grows increasingly narcissistic in regards to our relationship...expected me to baby him when he got sick which I did lovingly. I came down with said illness the next week and couldn't even get a "how are you doing" from him. Nothing. Should have left then as well. But I am stupid and hopeful. 
 

Also should note I am 29 with no kids or baggage. 
 

He begins pressuring me to move in and I calmly tell him time and time again I will gladly do so when daughter is able to sleep in her own bed. He doesn't get that I have sacrificed much for him, as I never see my friends anymore since weekends are our only time to spend together. He repeatedly tells me it's my problem and that he doesn't understand why that would make me not want to move in. I stand my ground and do not move in. 
 

Christmas comes and he brags about spending $800 on daughters gifts. Brags on and on about how he loves to spoil on Christmas (said the same about birthdays so I should have known). On Christmas, I received two items that we're regifted to me by him. I know so because one was a free item he got when he bought something else for himself a few weeks before and the other I knew his mother had given him for me. Two more small things which were ordered two days before Christmas which I know because I use his amazon prime account to order stuff sometimes and I saw the purchase. Why brag since thanksgiving about how much you love giving and being thoughtful and then do that to me? Rubbed me the wrong way. He also put down an expensive gift I had personally made for him as he was hoping the way it was wrapped that "it was that poster I wanted". Broke my heart. I had a hand written note saying how special I thought the piece was and represented our shared interests and had placed it under the gift and he hurt me so much that I quietly grabbed the note and threw it out before he saw. He then asked "did you get everything you wanted?". It seemed almost cruel like he knew he had hurt me and wanted to rub it in. 
 

He starts telling me how I RESENT HIS DAUGHTER when I begin voicing my concerns and finding my voice. I never resented the daughter! I love and care for her! And am concerned for her well being. I resent him and how he had no clue how to balance fatherhood and a relationship and lied and said he would be able to. 
 

I began to think back to how he told me his ex was a narcissist and that's exactly what classic narcissists do, they try and tell you everyone else but them is one! I began to really think he was one. Saw messages from BM saying the same thing that he needed therapy and was a pathological liar. She's not great herself so I don't take her word for stone but still got a bad gut feeling. 
 

Now he springs on me the fact that he has decided to sell his home because he can no longer afford it and will have to move back in with his parents. I believe this was his plan all along. Wanted me to come live with him and pay his bills. At this point I think he is pissed that I turned out to be smarter than he thought and am questioning his bullshit. He tells me in so many words that losing the house is essentially my fault because if I had just moved in months ago he wouldn't be in this position!!!!! F### RIGHT THE FU###OFF YOU MORON I AM NOT GOING TO BE MANIPULATED LIKE THAT. This is start of last straw. I tell him okay great you two come move in with me (my rent is considerably less than his mortgage and I have two extra bedrooms plenty of room for daughter). I offer this mostly just to see his reaction. He has excuse after excuse after excuse, one of them being that he couldn't trust that I wouldn't just kick them out one day. Hilarious because he knows I would never and also hilarious because what you want me to move with you so YOU can kick ME out one day when you're done using me! Ha! F### off again. 
 

Now nothing I do is good enough and nothing I do is right. I stopped cleaning up after him and daughter as they are disgusting slobs who leave clothes everywhere, boots and jackets thrown in the ground upon entry into house, dishes left everywhere. "But it's OUR MESS BABY." F### off. I clean up after myself at all times. I'm not your wife I'm not your child's mother. 
 

My best friend has two daughters, one of which is my boyfriend's daughter's age, 5. I begin to slowly spill to her my feelings of sadness and frustrations and she is shocked at what I tell her and I am equally shocked at how far ahead her child is than my boyfriends daughter. Again, not the daughters fault AT ALL. I try nicely to mention this to him in the nicest way possible as not to come off aggressive. He reverts back to I resent his daughter blah blah and I come off as rude. I'm over it at this point. 
 

Anyways thanks for listening if you are still reading I'm almost done with this rant I've held in for almost a year. 
 

Valentine's is Friday and how sad that I already knew he would do nothing to celebrate it. I volunteered to work. Let them have their creepy valentine's together and cuddle half naked while I work. I'm so over it. "Can we celebrate next week?" ONLY said this because BM is taking child on vacation so he is forced to be without her for a weekend!!!! The horror!!! He is beside himself. So no I do not want to "celebrate" with you next weekend while you tell me at least 3 times how much you miss her, again secretly putting me down and making me feel like a Mistress to he and his daughter's love affair. I doubt there would even be a card on Friday to at least acknowledge. 
 

So yesterday I come off of a 30 hour shift and go out of my way to go pick him up some weed (lol sorry if this offends anyone). I do errands all morning and he knows I'm exhausted as we have talked. He knows I plan to sleep all afternoon before I had to go back to work. He knows I'm exhausted. He then springs on me that his parents are coming by for dinner and I'm sorry but they have curtains they want to drop off (to the house that you told them you are selling??? F### off.) and they are damn impatient and he's sorry. I flip out. LAST STRAW. I say nicely I will go home and nap which he already doesn't like as he wants me around 24/7. I say sorry hun I am taking the piece we smoke out of with me. I go home attempting to rest before work and trying to forget that he again put me LAST. I get a text chastising me for TAKING THE F###ING LIGHTER WITH ME. He said it was rude and inconvenient for him to have to put daughter back in car so he could drive the ten seconds to get one at Walgreens. I freak out and end relationship via text right there. 
 

He writes back okay with a peace sign and haven't heard from him since. I believe he thinks I will walk in the door after work and act like nothing happened. I will not do that. I need to stay strong and realize this man is not about me and never has been about me and has used and taken everything he could from me. There's so many more situations I could talk about as well such as the fact that he lied about his income and that he owned rental properties etc. I get that you want to put your best foot forward when you meet someone and he says he never lied but he 100% did. He also told me he was 30 when we met online then claimed he never said that until I went back and found screenshot proving I was right. F###ING GASLIGHT ATTEMPT. F### off again. Lol. 
 

This still sucks. I'm so hurt and I truly love him. thanks for letting me rant. I know I am a good person and a wonderful girlfriend. I did not deserve any of this. It still hurts a lot...but I will take this lesson with me. I just am scared he will love bomb me again once he realizes that 
 

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