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I don't think I deserved to get broken up with

tarynewtostep's picture

I don't think I deserved what I got. I don't think I deserved to be discarded and told to leave. I don't believe I deserved to be screamed at in my face and called names and told to stop crying. All because I disconnected after his child was rude to me and no one would talk to me. All because I questioned wether or not I should be paying for their things and doing everything they do while on vacation.

Siemprematahari's picture

No you didn't deserve such abusive treatment. Although you may not see it now, he did you a favor. You dodged a bullet!  Be grateful you are out of that destructive relationship. You are worthy of so much more.

Sending you virtual hugs!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

You definitely dodged a bullet.  Skids or no skids, that behavior is unacceptable.  Your SO showed you who he truly is.  Believe him!

justmakingthebest's picture

Oh Hun!! 

This is what you have to keep telling yourself:

YOU DESERVE MORE. You are strong and independent. You are financially stable. You are smart. You deserve someone on YOUR level.

This cowardly man was not on your level or in your league. He, as a person, is not a good man. You deserve a good man.

ESMOD's picture

The person who didn't deserve something is your EX.. and that thing that he didn't deserve is YOU. 

Look.. he sounded like a real jerk.. blaming you for things that were not your fault.  His family piling on expectations of things that you should not have been burdened with..

I know it hurts to be rejected.. even if the person rejecting you is an ahole.  I'm sorry you are hurting, but I believe in a little bit of time you will realize just how lucky you are to not be shackled to him and his family.

MissJulsie's picture

Honey, you need to get yourself a counsellor straight away. You've actually been abused and manipulated by a first rate selfish pig who was well on the way to treading the waters of domestic abuse, which would have eventually led to domestic violence.

i have seen cases of selfishness and arrogance in my time, but this one really takes the cake (and that's really saying something considering how many cases I've seen and read about).

I read your other post, and all about the vacation you took. Your ex is a disgusting, disgusting man. No, technically you didn't deserve to get broken up with, but like a typical victim of domestic abuse, you are so downtrodden and have such low self esteem, you are confused and can't think clearly.  

Unfortunately as a society, stepfamilies are still a relatively new phenomenon, when you take into consideration the fact that divorce was socially unacceptable up until around the 1950's, and we have had marriages and families for centuries and centuries. In our fast changing society, we're still learning about modern, contemporary families, and we still haven't managed to get it right. 

So where I'm headed with this, is that there is still a misconception, and an unspoken, unwritten rule that children should be worshipped. This needs to change.

I am absolutely SICK to my stomach of these self-entitled single parents, who just assume that we're all here to make it ALL about their kids.  The fact that this man sat by for years, while you paid, paid, paid for his kids tells me that he is selfish and greedy beyond all comprehension, and he's adding to this new trend of arrogant single parents. 

You don't owe him, or his mother a cent, and even if they took you on Judge Judy, they still can't legally force you to pay. Judge Judy would rule in your favour hands down.

However, I realise that you're in pain right now as a newly single girl, and you're scared, lost and confused. Don't become part of the battered wife syndrome and try and go back to him, only to get more soul destroying abuse. 

Look after yourself. Turn to friends and family. See a counsellor. Watch 'YouTube videos about breakups. Google articles. Read books.  (As for reading I HIGHLY recommend "It's called a breakup because it's broken". )

We're for you. I'm here for you. Message me anytime.  

Take care. You got this. Xxxx oooo

futurobrillante99's picture

Look, he's going to keep sniffing around and come back to abuse you some more. Please get all your stuff and stop talking to him or this group of leeches is going to keep pulling you back in for more of the same.

People like your former SO get off on abusing romantic partners. Don't get sucked back in or it will be a never ending cycle of worse abuse.

Harry's picture

Your SO will not leave you and your pay check alone.  He needs you to do the things he doesn’t want to do.  Like parent his kids.  He rather you pay for him to play with his kids.  And you can cook, clean. And give him loving 

ndc's picture

Of course you didn't deserve it, but trust me, the day will come when you are ecstatic that this happened.  In the meantime, take the valuable lessons you've learned from this lopsided relationship and apply them to your life, which I'm sure will be better for having this jerk out of it.

grace8205's picture

You didn't deserve it but the others are right, you dodged a bullet. 

Maybe you should send him a copy of these responses that way he knows what  POS is truly is and that he is the one that needs work on being a decent human being and a responsible parent to his kids. 

shamds's picture

meaningful relationship with someone he is worth of their love. I’m a firm believer in karma. He and his kids treated you like shit and he dumped you but his karma will be the neverending unhappiness he gets from his kids never allowing him to find happiness with a woman and him never being able to treat her well

Rags's picture

I agree that you should not be treated as you were treated. As for "deserving" of a breakup, breakups happen for any number of reasons.  End of attraction, betrayals, change in circumstance, etc, etc, etc....

What is for sure is that this is a great thing for you.  No longer do you have to tolerate the effluent behavior of this asshole and his shallow and polluted gene pool.  Celebrate, move on, and life well. It is the best revenge.  As you live a great life, rub their noses in it if they make the mistake of ever interfacing with you.

Quit lamenting their shit.  Do what you should do with shit, wipe it and flush it.  No one laments that.

 

Ispofacto's picture

He did you a favor.  You may not see it now but someday you will

And you are not defective, he is.