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I am just a big joke in my house! I'm getting really tired of it!

ivymlk's picture

As if it isn't bad enought that SS8 doesn't listen to me EVER and I am pretty much a joke as it is, a week and a half ago I discovered that he and BS7 were going on things on the computer that they are not supposed to. They have lost Privileges in the past for this. I set up parental controls so they couldn't go on it and somehow they managed to get into them again. So I said no computer for 2 weeks. SS kept lying to me saying he hadn't been on it where my son had fessed right up and I said to SS I can see you were on it yesterday at the time you were using this computer. He finally admitted it 15 minutes later after consistantly lying so for lying he got an extra 5 days no computer. He has a few days left and I saw that he had been on the computer last night. I asked DH and he said that he allowed him to go on because he did well on a test in school (DH took away video game Privileges the other day for a bad grade). So here's my thing, why didn't you let SS go on a video game since that was a punishment you gave (go ahead and break it for all I care) rather then the computer which was MY punishment. My son did well on a test too but I didn't allow him to go on the computer for it. He should be doing well in school. I don't see anything wrong with rewards but yet again, my word becomes a joke! I am so angry!! Am I overreacting?

MBAbaby's picture

no, you are not over reacting. Try a different approach.
try giving them everything and anything they want, push it all in front of them(wii,games whatever) and say here boys have at it. I will not say a word. Take their school bags and throw them outside or in the garage and say, you dont need to worry about homework or school--go have fun...and you avoid making dinner. Give them bread and peanut butter and watch TV sip coffee-chill out. Say, hey, if no one who lives here cares for what I have to say, then I will stop doing my job as the mom of the house.I'm on strike.
DH you cook dinner I'm going out. BS7 & SS fend for yourselves, I quit. keep it up for a week do no chores tell no one what they should be doing.Walk around and call your friends and family all day and pay no attention to any of them. Enjoy your time. relax. Wait.....all 3 will come around puzzled. trust me on this one I just hope you have the patience... :o)

mom23ms's picture

It seems like there are two sets of rules for my BIOKIDS and SSKIDS. My children act up or do something they are not suppose to, they get punished. When my SSKIDS do something (and trust me it's ALOT worse then my children...oh the horror stories I could tell) it's pretty much swept under the rug.

hismineandours's picture

Yes I hate the double standard. I am not perfect there are times I let my kids get away with too much-but there issues are small (room not picked up, left backpack in the kitchen, etc) while ss's are huge suspended from school, aggression, etc. My dh is such a wimp when it comes to discipline. He will yell, lecture, but no discipline. One time he disciplined MY two children for being down the road two houses (at an empty home) sitting under their carport- for two weeks. Not allowed to go outside for two weeks, friends houses, nothing. He takes my dd's phone away if she is mouthy. Sends my bs to his room when he's mouthy and for the most part I can support these consequences-however-he has NEVER grounded ss for more than 1 day. I wish I was kidding here, but I am not. He threatened to murder my son and his consequence (which was delivered 6 weeks later because I told him he had to give a consequence)was to sit on the side of the pool while we were swimming at a campground one day. We were here 4 days-and he swam the other days-but again he had to sit out for what amounted to maybe 3-4 hours. I am trying to let go of these things and start fresh, but damn its hard.