I am actually scared of being stuck with SS6
Now, God willing, nothing will happen to DH before SS6 is 18, but I actually have bad dreams about something happening and then I get stuck with SS6 forever. DH and DH's family expect that I will fight for custody of SS6 if anything happened to DH, at the bare minimum at least fight to be the NCP and have the kid every other weekend. In fact, I am fairly certain this is why DH is so interested in having an "ours" baby, he has mentioned more than once if I had SS6 biological sibling I would have a good chance of at least getting visitation every other weekend and keeping the geographical restrictions in place.
I have been told that this really isn't a possibility, that since I am just the SM I have no rights to the child (God willing), but it still scares me. SS6 isn't the most horrible kid on earth, he really isn't, but he is wierd and I don't like dealing with him or his BM. If DH wasn't around, there isn't enough money on earth to make me want to raise his kid or deal with his baby mamma until SS6 is an adult.
My biggest fear is that BM won't take SS6 and I will be stuck with him regardless of what the law says. I have told DH that at this time I would not want to keep SS6 if something happens to him, that if DH's family is so set on SS6 not going to his mother they will need to step up, take SS6 and fight for him themselves, but I don't think he is listening.
Don't worry about this. Thwy
Don't worry about this. Thwy chances if BM, her family and BD's family all walking away are slim to none. Even if it happens, a judge would never force you to take custody
Don't stress whether DH is
Don't stress whether DH is listening or not. If something happens to him to put you in this position, this means he's not going to be around to tell you what to do with his kid. Sooooo... not to be silly but unless you fear Ghosts or something he really is out of control of what happens when he's dead.
Honestly, you'd not have much of a chance anyway as long as his BM is around. If she doesn't want custody, then it's up to DH Family to take him on if that's their/his wish. No one can make you take custody of a kid that's not yours.
Besides, you are still in child-bearing age so if something happened now, you could very well remarry. Would you expect or find a new man to be okay taking on the load of the biological child of your Dead husband & all the drama that comes with it?
DH has mentioned something about me staying in the life of SS8 and I've flatly told him I would not see a reason to do that. I don't care for the kid NOW so why would I take on responsibility or effort of being in his life if DH was not around? It's not even DH's kid which makes it doubly sure that I wouldn't do it!