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Husband back upstairs in our bed

Sotired345's picture

we talked yesterday morning and made up. I told him is daughter can not be spying on our conversations, he told me next time he’ll take care of it. Personally I’ll be honest I’m done fighting with him when she’s here. I’m just playing into it. I told she needs to stop accusing me of hating her when we’re having simple conversations about hygiene. He says she wants my attention and doesn’t understand why I don’t pay attention to her. This pisses me off because this entire time I’ve been in this she has been the center of everyone’s world. My children are high maintenance and needy I barely have time for myself I can’t coddle this child anymore. My kids come second and so I do I someone needs to put us first and it has to be me. My husband also tells me his daughter doesn’t go home and tell her mother everything that goes on here. I don’t even know what to say to that. I said whatever and let it go. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Its easy enough to prove to him she's a spy.  Mention something plausable that she can overhear that you know isn't true but is juicy enought not to ignore and will get BM to mention it to DH.  Maybe in  a conversation with your kids.  

Time to separate the kids too.  You spend your time and effort on yours, he on his.  I remember a trip to the mall once where SD wanted to go with me and I said no, you go with your father.  I have girls and it was just expected I took all the girls with me and he didn't.  I changed the lines of seperation to blood lines, not gender lines and it was much better in the long run for me.  Men are perfectly capable of parenting if you force it on them.  

Sotired345's picture

I like this idea you’ve got but I can’t come up with anything. Suggestions? As far as me just taking care of my kids. I’ve been doing that for a while hence H telling me I haven’t been a stepmother in a year. He’s actually explained to SD many times that I’m very busy taking care of my children but she still cries and complains that I hate her and pay no attention to her. She so used to being the center of everyone’s world she even has gotten mad when my mother has come over and was playing with my children which are her grandchildren. I blame all the adults. The in laws my H and BM they all treat her like this and because I don’t, In her eyes I hate her. Sometimes I think she’s just going to get worse with age.

Gucci's picture

I would mention something to her about looking for houses or at houses. It’s innocent enough and you will see if it comes out in the wash anywhere. I did this last week to BM through the boys. She mentioned to my husband that she heard we were thinking of putting the house on the market. He had no clue and mentioned it to me. I told him that I said something to YSS10 to see if it would get back to BM. Needless to say, he was shocked that YSS would go running to her with that. 

Survivingstephell's picture

A trip to Disney.  LOL  Gets them everytime.  Maybe not with your kids but a fake phone call to a friend, maybe....