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How sweet...GAG

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

:sick:

My FDH just changed his Facebook status to "Can't wait to pick up my baby girl after work today!!" It's always something about his "baby" girl. You think his "Future wifey" ever gets a nice little reference? NO! He should just marry his daughter. GAG ME.

purpledaisies's picture

Tell him! Also pull up his stats on fb and show him how many he has about her and none about you. I wonder if he even realizes?

vera3's picture

There was a time when men wouldn't be caught dead saying things like that, let alone publishing them in writing for all his friends to see. Isn't it weird??? I'm happy that men love their children (as they have since beginning of time) but this glorification of kids is kind of a bizzarre new phenomenom, isn't it! (Dare I say, pussification! LOL!!!)

vera3's picture

The other day SIL was overhead saying "Hope they (her dad and stepmom) don't expect me to drag my kids to restaurants with them. It's all about the kids! I'm there to take the kids to have fun!".

Her kids are 9 & 12 and she was talking about she and they (she is single) going to spend time at her parents time share.

Okay, A) Barf
Dirol WHY does it have to be "all about the kids"? What about the adults who are letting you stay at their time share for free and want to take your asses to dinner?

I don't get the whole child glorification thing! They're nice but they are just kids. They will grow up and some will be great, some will be jerks. They're not demi-gods! Ugh I get so sick of it!

This is NOT a popular opinion among my friends who are mothers!

BellaMia's picture

"Child worship" is right. The other day DH said, "You know, I have the most beautiful, perfect boys..."

:sick:

Are. You. Kidding me.

Frustration's picture

I hate that "my kid is perfect" crap. And god forbeed you will mention Some floes DH will bite my he'd off

stpmom2b's picture

BM and DH got into a fight awhile back because she was saying something ridiculous (as usual) and said "my whole life revolves around the kids. They are more important than anything." He said something to the effect of "That's stupid. You should have your own life.They should not BE your life" That of course started a huge rant from her about how DH is a horrible father and how his life too should revolve around the kids. He asked her what should he do since she has them almost all the time? Should he set up a shrine to them and just stare at their pictures all day? lol...love my DH!!! He puts our relationship as priority one and his kids add to his life, they don't have to BE his life.

vera3's picture

Good for DH! A shrine and stare all day!! Worship!
LOL

I think people like your BM are misguided. Does she realize that someday (gasp) those kids will grow up and leave? Then what? Your life ends? Hell they become teens and sometimes want nothing to do with you beyond money and rides! What then?

I have so many friends (and family) who are child obsessed. They know I'm not of the same mind but they don't know how much I think they are insane and short sighted! Honestly it makes me want to vomit.

stpmom2b's picture

That's what DH was saying to me. She is MOTY right now, but she is going to have a rude awakening when the boys aren't cute and sweet and hang on her every word. I fully expect my future kids to be important to me, but they DO grow up!

purpledaisies's picture

WOW LOL that is how my dh thinks and he told bm something similar. Bm said the same thing that the kids are her life and everything is revolved around them and she seems to think we should do same only thing is she thinks it should be just HER kids and mine be out of the pic all together. She made that very clear when she told dh that HER boys better have their own rooms and she doesn't care where mine sleep. My kids live with me and their dad is not in the pic never has been. They do not 'visit' anyone on a regular basis.

The boys have their own rooms at their mom's house and only here EOW and EO holiday. So why should they get their own rooms when they are not here that much?

But yes this thing about child adoration is crap! Makes me want to puke. :sick: My brother is this way with his boys and so far he has not been able to keep a girlfriend, wonder why? I have tried to talk to him but oh well not my life.

hismineandours's picture

Gee, I feel bad I was just silently glorifying my kids tonight. I was so proud of them tonight because they were mediocre. I am sure that sounds really bizarre and I cant even quite express it right-but my ds had a soccer game and his team just blows. Seriously. But my ds played pretty well-however he is not an awesome player, or the best, or perfect, just sort of average-on a good day possibly a little above average. My dd had her first track meet tonight. She ran hurdles. Well, I guess that is stretching it-actually she ran, tried to jump the hurdle, and fell-got back up and did it again-over and over until she finished that damn race.

And I was so stinking proud of them. I have no idea why. Something to do with their efforts, pushing themselves to do things they are completely comfortable with, or great at? I dont know-but I hope you all dont think I am worshipping or glorifying my kids.

I actually had that thought-we talk on here about our foolish spouses think the skids are great, dont see their faults, or think their bad performances are awesome and I actually stopped for a moment and thought, "oh, no-is that what I am doing?" I am so not into glorifying my kids at all. Usually. I didnt gush over them or tried not to anyway. I told my son he played a good game and noted some things he had improved on and I did tell my dd that I thought her race was pretty amazing (she was horribly embarrassed, crying, bleeding with scraped up hands and knees)but dang I thought it was sort of a beautiful thing. I am not sure why. So please tell me i am not part of the child glorification movement.

vera3's picture

Don't get me wrong -- of course it's totally natural to love and be proud of our kids! What I'm talking about is "it's ALL about the kids" and "they are my LIFE and my reason for being!!!" and "my life revolves my kids!!" and all that crap. The idea that kids are to be worshipped and revered.

And also, the holier than thou attitude those parents take, like, the more I exalt my kids the better parent I am, and therefore it's a competition, and you people who just regard your kids like, well kids, part of the family, no more no less... I'm better than you. BARF.

LostInTheMess's picture

That's not glorification - that sounds like good parenting to me!

I think the worship/glorification part comes in to play for those parents who regularly and repeatedly state that their child is perfect, etc etc, when the whole world sees that they are not, and who think their children should be there entire life.

Newsflash to my SO - your perfect little boy will grow up and leave and yo will be miserable all by yourself if you don't start making someoene else (eh hem - ME) a priority too!

Cheers!

Betty79's picture

Sometimes on my FB status I will post things like that just b/c I know that miserable BM looks at my page and I want her to know that I am SOOOO EXCITED to see SS7. It's my little dig on her for trying to poison SS7 against me.

CONFUSED1020's picture

When I married my DH I told my BD's age 12,10 and 8 that I was a wife first and then a mommy unless theres a life or death situation then they will be my main priority other than that its all about me and DH because they will grow up have their own lives and at the end of the day its me and DH alone, I also explained to them that they need to respect him as my DH and as another authority in our home. They took it very well and understood because I raised them well... Smile I let them know that no one will take away my love for them or make me love them less but mommy needs a partner and they need a positive male role model in their lives (bio dad is not in the picture only phone calls). Now my DH ex-sd age 19 did not take it well that I was #1 in his life now but oh well she can go screw herself for what I care...

hbell0428's picture

Yep!! Daddy's princess.........DH says it all the time. Honey, sweetie, baby - "I'm doing what's best for my baby girl" - this one makes me sick!!

donna123's picture

The way I see this isn’t about the children at all. This type of worship is about parents glorifying themselves. I’M doing for MY baby girl. In the meantime the children are not being parented but are trotted out like trick ponies to show the world what great parents mom and dad thinks they are. (eye rolling here) Course these bad parents lack the self-awareness to understand their purely narcissistic motives.

moeZy99's picture

I think many people have kids (subconsciously) to fuel their egos. What I find most annoying about the kid-crazy people is that they likely view their kids as extensions of themselves (whether they know it or not) and find this a socially acceptable way to inflate their own egos. There is a lot more to it than that, I'm sure, but I agree, kid worship is very annoying. I think people have to have different kinds of relationships in order to be whole. If someone is directing all their energy to one place, other areas of life suffer.

RedWingsFan's picture

Funny, my DH did the same one day and it just so happened to be my BIRTHDAY! He had the day off work and usually when he's off and I'm working, he'll bring me lunch or we'll have lunch out together somewhere.

Well, when I saw his FB post at 11AM it was "Spending some awesome time with my daughter doing all the fun things she loves to do" So I commented "Would've been nice to see you at lunch today - oh you know for your wife's BIRTHDAY????" and he commented back "Well, SD wanted to go shopping, movies, lunch at the mall, etc"

I left it at that but his brother commented shortly after and said "Well little brother, since YOU are too busy running your kid around all day on your WIFE'S birthday, guess *I* will take her out for lunch!"

All I could do was laugh and take him up on the offer. He and his wife and their 2 girls met me at the restaurant down the road from my office and we had a nice lunch.

After DH dropped precious princess off, he ended up showing up at my office with a dozen roses, balloons, chocolates and a big fat I'm sorry!

oldone's picture

I think there has been a huge shift in how children are viewed in the past 50 years.

My observations as someone who has lived thru this time:

Up until the 60s birth control was very unreliable. Almost everyone tried not to have any kids and ended up with 3 or 4. So having a baby was something that "happened" not something to be planned.

Now people go to great lengths to have the "perfect pregnancy". I honestly know one woman who seriously considered an abortion because she got pregnant two months earlier than she wanted to.

When people just "had" kids they just accepted them as being part of their life. Once they started "planning" kids they often are not able to let go of the planning and control.

I can assure you that very few of the SAHM of the 50s really spent a lot of time focusing on their kids every second of the day. They sent them out to play and called them back in for dinner.

RedWingsFan's picture

^^^Hell, even my parents raising my brother and I in the 70's and 80's weren't totally focused on us. We had certain responsibilities after school (homework and chores) and after that, it was "get out and play with your friends till I call you home".