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How does a 15 yr old get to be like this?

Bettysmith00's picture

SS15 was NEVER a social butterfly and had very few friends. Now SS15 is almost 16 and either sleeps or watches TV if not in school. If DH plans a activity like skiing or hiking there is a 50/50 chance SS will go along. There is zero chance SS would plan something himself. It's like SS just sits around "bored" till we entertain him. Both DH and I are to busy to Constantly entertain SS.

I mean at this age Shouldn't he be able to plan Activities himself or make his own friends? SS Literally has no imagination or Ability to entertain himself besides TV or sleeping. SS15 says he lays in bed because he's "bored".  How does a kid get like this?

ESMOD's picture

Some people are naturally introverts.  Some people are just not self starters.  I have to think that the whole covid lockdown when he was coming into that time when kids would have been more likely to start taking initiative on doing things... maybe that could have had some impact.  I mean.. 2.5 years of not having options? that's a big percent of his life at this point.  Also.. a lot of kids are more used to being online for interraction.. so they don't do as much in person.  The fallout of parents that overschedule their kids in organized activities.. teams.. could also have made the kid not ever have to do that?  are his parents at all homebodies?

relationshipguru's picture

He sounds depressed. He could be just lazy or an introvert but both can often lead to depression. 

advice.only2's picture

What are his interests?  My BS was not a very social kid, he didn’t hang out with many people when he was growing up and really only started become more social now in his early 20’s.  We used to encourage him to go out and do stuff all the time as a teen and he never really did, now we never see him because between work and his social life he’s gone lol.  Maybe your SS15 will be a late bloomer, who knows.

TrueNorth77's picture

You just described my skids. SS16 was exactly like this until the past year. He now has a gf and is almost always gone- he has a job (probably only because we make him, but that's our rule), and now he does things with his gf almost daily, and friends sometimes. Prior to that, he would work and sit in his room playing video games, and would expect us to be his entertainment. SD13 expects us to be her entertainment and almost never does things with friends, although she actually would, if she could keep friends... Crazy (BM) is co-dependant and believes parents should spend every moment with their children, entertaining them, watching shows and playing board games and taking them to get nails done or to fun activities, so that is what SD believes also, even though we do a more realistic level of activities with her. 

It drives me absolutely insane, but I've heard this from quite a few people, so it definitely seems to be an epidemic, largely caused by them communicating online mostly, I believe. Can you have your SS get a job? It's a good way to meet people and get him out and socializing. Being locked in a room doing nothing is not healthy. I was always on SS to go DO something. He finally is, so there's hope for your SS yet...

Rags's picture

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