How Do I Motivate My Husband?
I'm a newly married and a new step-mother. My husband was VERY thoughtful and considerate before we were married. His place was always very clean and he seemed to be a very active part in his children's lives. Since we said "I do" he seems to have forgotten how to pick up after himself, how to do laundry, how to put trash in the trash can, and how to care for his children. The children are great, I love them very much and we are very close. The problem has become that I don't know how to motivate my husband to not only help me around the house, but also how to step-up and start caring for his children again. I have talked to him about this and I've tried to tell him in a nice way how I feel, but nothing seems to work or to sink in with him. When he was sick I took total care of him and he hasn't seemed to snap out of it. However now I'm sick and being tested for cancer. I need extra help and I'm not getting any help from him. I told him that I needed a lot of extra help from him this weekend since we had two birthday parties in the family and I had to make the cakes for both of them and I had to host one of them. He slept the entire day on Saturday before the first birthday party. That left me with 5 hours of cake decorating, taking care of 3 kids, getting them ready for the party and trying to entertain them and keep them out of cake and icing. (I make very elaborate cakes.) I went in several times asking for him to watch them but he would only help for about 5 minutes and go back to sleep. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm sick, I'm in pain, I'm still working full time, and I'm getting no help outside or inside of the house. Does anyone have any ideas on how to motivate a lazy person?