how do i find info on the second marriage???
Forums:
does anyone know any web sights or info. on the statistics of the second and third marriages being a success? I noticed some of the people on this sight are going threw another divorce or the third wife (or with someone one thats on there third marriage.)
I'd like to know what my odds are of making my marriage work the second time?
i know the odds are not good or should i say higher of failing. also if you dont mind me asking, what is it thats causing the relationship to struggle????
dont worry about the odds
if u think baout the odds, you'll never hit the jackpot! focus on what u and yr DH have, how u treat each other, where u stand in his eyes and in his kids lives, etc...i love mine more than anything and what i have w them, though i have to deal w tons of bs, is more than i ever thought i could...it makes it all worth it!
This was interesting....
It's not statistical, but discusses reasons for divorce in first, second, third etc marriages.
http://www.pobronson.com/blog/2006/06/will-this-marriage-last-divorce-in...
“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks
This is my second marriage
And it's already lasted longer than my first! I actually think second marriages have a better chance of surviving depending on the reasons the couple got married to begin. If it was because a woman just wanted to be married, or wanted a man to take care of her, or if the man was just looking for a free babysitter, cook and housekeeper, then it probably won't work.
I think, too, that after the first marriage, most people know what they will and will not tolerate anymore and so they make sure those same traits are not in the second marriage, although there may be a whole new set of traits. I really think it depends on how much a COUPLE wants the marriage to work.
~IT WAS WORTH IT WHEN I BEGAN~
The stats are not good
for second marriages but I would not concern myself with that. The most important thing is how you work together and communication. Many second marriages fail due to issues with kids and ex spouses. Many people get fed up and don't work on solutions.
The good news is that people in second marriages are usually more compatable.
While it is true
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.
that most second marriages do not last, the ones that do are so much stronger than the first marriages ever were. By the time most decide to enter into a marriage again, they are more secure in themselves, know more about what they expect out of their future partner as well as themselves, have the knowledge of what experience the first marriage taught them in regards to how to negotiate and communicate better as well as how to set and respect each others boundaries more. There are so many pluses to a second marriage if you just look to them instead of statistics.
Then there's me...
This was/is my first marriage, my DH's 2nd. Sometimes, a person carries in baggage from their last marriage, it cripples the relationship. They can manifest things that happened from the first into the second, and the individual that is in the first marrige... has no idea how to cope with it.
Suffice to say, I am separating from him now because of his lack of willingness to cope. He felt he had no control in his first marriage, and now, he's over controlling in aspects where he felt lost before... if that makes sense?
I think after this, I'm going to remain single, and Retired.
“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”