How to deal with my husband's ex wife?
Im from Brazil and have moved to US 2y ago when I got married with my actual husband. He is divorced for 4y now and have 2 kids (6 and 12) that live with us 2 to 3 days of each week. I have 3 kids from my last marriage (3, 5 and 7). We all as a family live really good. In the other hand my husbands ex wife and his sister in law (wife of his brother that passed 2y ago) have constantly make my life a little difficult here like calling DSS on me with malicious accusations which they came and saw that was not true, trying get my mother in law and family members hate me (but they have no clue that my husbands family dont like them anyway so it didnt worked ), alienate their kids against me and my kids, call my husband for silly reasons and text daily and last they bought an burning phone to send anonymous msg to me and my mother in law saying that he was cheating on me with a 19y old girl which use drugs and he is the one who helps her get it. We put the details of the msg together and tracked the geo and we found out was from the city where his sister in law lives. My husband pressed them saying that he would take legal actions and they confessed in some way. Normally she would bring their kids here in our house and would come inside to use the bathroom or go into her daughter room but I prohibited. She is going crazy saying that she will not allowed theirs kids spend any time with ne anymore because she is worried about me taking my anger on her kids (which doesn't make any sense. Im a great mother and always have taken good care of their children as well). So do I have any right taking a legal action against her in this regards?Please help me! I dont have anybody to talk about it besides my husband and I dont want my parents to know that im going through that. Thank you!
Calling DSS and falsely
Calling DSS and falsely accusing me would be the end of the rope. They would not be in the same house with me and my kids. Period.
So, I guess she would get her wish of not having me around her kids. Yay!
Sorry, I don't agree with
Sorry, I don't agree with banishing the kids from the home. This is a BM issue, not a skid issue (at least from what you wrote).
You need to put boundaries in place and your DH needs to understand and enforce those boundaries...
1. BM is not allowed in your home. If she is dropping off or picking up she can wait outside. NEVER is she to be inside your home.
2. DH is to only communicate with BM via text or email. He needs to have everything in writing.
3. BM is to never contact you. All communication is to go through DH.
4. Never fuel the fire. Ignore all accusations. Do not respond to anything that isn't related to the kids. People like this love drama and even negative attention is attention. Once you cut that off there will be nothing for her to grab onto.
5. Your DH needs to have a solid CO. Everything spelled out, leaving nothing to interpretation.
I don't think you have enough to pursue via court (the allegations against you). And I am not sure it is worth the aggravation. It will also give her an avenue to further smear you, like a podium for he to stand on and proclaim how awful you are. You need to cut her off. Have zero involvement and ensure your home is a safe place.
I went through (and am still
I went through (and am still going through) the same exact thing. BM immediately started saying I have anger issues and take it out on the kids, that I hit the youngest kid, and then lie after lie (I do drugs, I was homeless, I have bad credit and was married and my ex had a restraining order on me...all of them completely made up). She would log into the oldest kids Facebook and post things about me, posing as the kid. Just crazy stuff.
We both have BM blocked on our phones, and My SO has a court-order that all communication must go through an app called My Family Wizard. If needed, the courts can go and actually look at all communication through the app and see what she wrote. It is much easier to say crazy things when it's through text or a phone call, so her constant crazy texts have settled down some (although she still writes crazy accusations through the app, just not as much). At one point when she showed up at our house when we had the kids, I called the police and asked them to tell her to not come to our house. She did stay away for a while, but has shown up several times recently. We haven't taken it any further with the police, but at least it's documented that she has been told not to come to our house. We also messaged her on the app that she is not allowed to come to our house, just to make sure it was in writing. Now if we need to get a restraining order, they can go to the app and see that she's been told to stay away. The app might be something to consider. It's MUCH less stressful than the constant texts and phone calls we were getting before!