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How can she just not care that shes covered in sh!t and p!ss?!?

PeanutandSons's picture


Last night I send SS to brush his teeth, I heR the toilet flush and he comes to say goodnight. SD then goes in the bathroom to do the same. I hear the door open so I tell bs3 that its his turn to brush his teeth. We brush his teeth and I tell him to go pee before.bed. He opens the lid to the toilet and it is full of pee.....and nothing else. No toilet paper. This nasty kid, yet again, doesn't wipe herself or flush.

How? HOW?? How do you just get up with your cooch dripping with urine and pull up your pants? How do you not care that your underwear is wet with urine? How?

I can understand occasionally forgetting to flush s a kid. Unacceptable, but I can understand. But to not wipe?? She's only been back from her visit to mil for two weeks and already she's not wiped/flushed twice with poop and one time with pee. And that's just at our house, with me finding it. That doesn't even count what she's doing all day at daycare.

I've been on her about this for 5 years now. We've had the Dr talk to her. I am completely out of ideas, she just doesn't care.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Check EVERY TIME they go to the bathroom. That is the only way it's going to become a habit. I think I read you have to do something for two to three weeks consistently for it to be a habit.

If they are young enough, I'd give a reward, like an M and M for doing it (of course, a parent is there to make sure it's done, the M and M is reinforcement.)

If she's older, I would say no M and Ms just tell her you will be accompanying her to the bathroom every day, every time, for the next two weeks, and obviously talking hasn't worked. Opefully after about a week shell be so embarrassed, she will just do it herself.

PeanutandSons's picture

Shes 9.5

I have a 3 yr old and a 3 month old in addition to the skids, I don't have time to follow her around everytime she goes to the bathroom. And even if I did, she spends the majority of her day at school and daycare.

PeanutandSons's picture

She's never gotten an infection. I almost wish she would, just to drive the point home. I think her only saving grace is that I insist in very regular showers, if left up to her she wouldn't ever bathe.

Her laundry reeks of pee by the end of the week, and her underwear has skid mark stained in all of them, but I've.never noticed an odor on her. But I also don't get that close to her either (we don't cuddle on the couch or anything, just a hug here and there). I bought her all new underwear at the start of the summer and half of them are stained already.

PeanutandSons's picture

Could I? Yeah. Would it be a good idea? No.

SD and chores is a constant battle and headache. I was actually going to post on that u.til I saw the pee and got worked up about this. No matter what chore you give her is too hard, she half asses it, not done...and Dh doesn't stay on top of her...ever. Just this morning, she stood there and watched SS take out the garbage, which is her one job. So she would never have clean clothes (and Dh would get mad at me for it), her shit would constantly be half done hogging my washer and drier.... Or shed whine to daddy that my stuff was always in there so she wasnt able to use it. And I am sure she will destroy numerous articles of clothing, and I don't care to spend even more money replacing g her clothes. So long story short, it would be more hassle than its worth.

PeanutandSons's picture

That's what I tried doing. Dh just shakes his head most of time and doesn't do anything.... If he the one to find poop he will speak/yell to her, but there's no consiquence or follow through.

PeanutandSons's picture

Yeah, I know. Sad This is really just a theraputic vent rather than expecting a solution.

clenettec's picture

That is nasty. I have a SD5 that does the same thing. Doesn't wipe, flush, or wash hands. The mere thought that your SD is 9.5yr old and you are still dealing with this, brings me no comfort. Gee thanks.

RedWingsFan's picture

Hell, SD14 was still doing this months ago at age 13!!! She only turned 14 a few weeks ago. And not brushing teeth/hair or showering unless DH told her to. She'd wear the same clothes for an entire week while at our place, not washing any of them or changing. She flipped out when DH told her to wash her pillowcases and bedsheets saying "I'm only here every other week and mom doesn't make me wash my own stuff at her place". OMG - at 13, you are WELL old enough to be doing this stuff automatically and not having to be told.

As far as girl is concerned, if I were you, I'd follow her to the bathroom each and every time, stand by the door and make SURE she wiped properly, flushed and washed her hands. And if her clothes smelled like pee, I'd make her gather them, load into the washer and when the washer stopped, make her switch to the dryer. Once dryer stopped, walk her back over there and watch as she folds and puts the clothes away.

If she protests saying she's too old for you to babysit her like that, I'd say "Well, obviously I still need to watch you do the simplest of tasks since your clothes smell like urine and you don't know how to properly take care of yourself!"

Good luck. I'm sure it would be a large pain in your ass, but unless you hound this girl and become her shadow, I don't see her changing her nasty ass habits.


staying calm's picture

OMG!!!! Is my SD7 secretly staying at your houses too??!! This is the most gawd awfull habit!! I thought SD7 was the only one who didn't wipe!
DH mostly ignores it, and thankfully she flushes most of the time. But I have talked to her over and over about wiping, and I know she doesn't. The underware are proof enough. What I wanna know is who potty trained them?! And why didn't this get engrained into their thick skulls at that time?! Isn't that part of going potty? I thought maybe it was because SD7 was raised by DH, and he is kind of a goofus, so maybe he just didn't know that girls have to wipe?

omgsaveme's picture

Where is the BM in this situation? My boys know you go to bathroom, you put toilet seat down, flush, and wash hands. This is something that we are taught when we are young and our parents stay on top of us and make sure it's done.

Redwingsfan if a girl is doing that at that age, her parents aren't doing what needs to be done. My sons will go a month without taking a shower if you let them, but everyday I direct them right into the shower, brush their hair, teeth, etc. It just cracks me up that these parents except the step parents to deal with their childs bullshit and that you're sposed to be the one to get a handle on it, ugh!