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Horrible, meddling In-Laws

mrsbks's picture

I can't be the only woman on God's green earth that is going through this!!!! DHs parents are horrible. They call his ex to discuss his parenting and gossip about him, and he's asked them repeatedly to stop for many reasons (legal, confidentiality, loyalty to him, etc). They're completely self-serving, rude, and do not acknowledge me as part of his life. To top it off, if you read my thread in blended family issues under PLEASE HELP ME!!, you'll see that she's a former drug addict who is also an RN, and was doing drugs while pregnant and nursing. DH has sole custody, though we're allowing her more visitation than ever because she is sober and it's benefitting DSS. In the meantime, we've been working with pediatricians and an excellent clinical child psychologist to help us with DSS, who as of this week, has been diagnosed w/ ADHD/ODD with comorbid anxiety disorders, and we'll find out if he's also BiPolar on Monday. DHs parents are in total denial, and feel it's partially my fault that their grandson is going through this, and that he's just misunderstood (WTF?!) and should NOT be medicated. Keep in mind: I have two healthy children of my own, neither of which have had the issues I detailed in the other thread. This child is disturbed. Period. So...the inlaws have been gossiping and creating turmoil for DH, and I HAD ENOUGH! I sent them a long-winded (longer than this post) email, and basically told them if they don't respect our boundaries, then don't bother communicating with us. That as DHs wife, I won't tolerate their meddling and creating problems. DH totally has my back (YAY) on this, and I've had enough. These people are TERRIBLE. If figure I'm now an "out-law" - not an "In-Law" to them. UGH! Why can't I have NORMAL in-laws?? Thanks for letting me vent....Have any of you been through this?

laughterandtears's picture

My MIL, especially, cannot stand me. She has done many horrible things to me and my DH. More often than not, I am to blame to whatever the problem is.

My SS9 is also diagnosed with ODD (last year) and is at the moment in a mental facility. When MIL first found out, she went ballistic over it. Started mouthing off about me and DH and how we are terrible parents and can't take care of the kids and how SS9 doesn't deserve this, ect.. It got so bad that I posted about it.

I have come to the conclusion that I don't give a rats ass about what any in-law thinks. They can leave me be. I don't have to listen to their B.S. and neither do you!!!


Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

However, at this stage and age in my life, I married my dh because I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with HIM...not them. This time around I could care less who's approval I have or do not have. Thankfully I do not have the in-law issues, however, in the beginning bm tried to turn MIL agiants me(as they still saw each other to allow mil to see grandson)As dh and I do not live near either of our families, we have bonded as a family of our own and that is what is important. What matters is what you and your dh think of each other and nothing else..focus on that and let the others stew in their own opinions alone.