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Momto2's picture

Submitted by Momto2 on Tue, 03/18/2008 - 11:01am

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Hi everyone Smile I'm not sure if I am really suppose to post this here or not. Here it goes...I have one stepdaughter who is 8, one bio son who is 6. I've been married almost 17 years. If you do the math, you can see my stepdaughter was conceived when my husband had an affair 9 years ago during a time both of us had health problems (he had severe depression and PTSD and I was dealing with my epilepsy). Our marriage survived and it was worth it. We are very happy now. Although we have times dealing with my SD's Mom. Last month my SD was diagnosed now with type 1 diabetes. It's been a whirlwind of emotions for our family. Anyway, glad to meet all of you.

Momto2's picture

Submitted by Momto2 on Tue, 03/18/2008 - 11:47am

It's tough being stepparent with the legal system not recognizing you at all. Basically you don't exist, but when the child is in your home they want you to be parent. Go figure. I work for a lawyer, have for 20 years too. I love my SD like my own daughter. Just never thought I would be part of a blended family.

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Tue, 03/18/2008 - 3:00pm

and welcome-I am sorry to hear about your SD but it sounds like she has a great SM!
we all seem to have so much in common and we all have great advice and opinions.
finding this site has saved my relationship and my sanity!
I hope it can help you too!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

smurfy1smile's picture

Submitted by smurfy1smile on Tue, 03/18/2008 - 5:55pm

You have found the right place for support and a good "listening" ear to your issues, happy moments and just plain old normal everyday stuff.

everythinghappens4areason's picture

Submitted by everythinghappe... on Tue, 03/18/2008 - 9:10pm

You are in the right place....you will find a place to vent, receive support & advice from all of us here. I could not have made it through without everyone's support. WELCOME HOME!!
Corie

smoke07's picture

Submitted by smoke07 on Wed, 03/19/2008 - 8:44am

I love this site!! Everyday at work, it is like the 1st thing I look up. It is so comforting to know that there are other people who with the same problems as me and don't judge me for my feelings. Thanks so much!

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Wed, 03/19/2008 - 2:47pm

If there's a heaven you have a spot reserved for sure. What you are doing, helping to raise a child conceived out of an affair your husband had....

Amazing.

Hats off to you.

Welcome!

Peace, love, and red wine

frustratedinMA's picture

Submitted by frustratedinMA on Thu, 03/20/2008 - 7:51am

Zenmom.. I was thinking that yesterday.. I was thinking.. good lord.. I dont know that I would be as graceful and open to having a new skid come into play AFTER I married my dh.

I was actually reading on what I believe now was a more religious website a woman wrote and said how excited that she was that her dh's son of 19 came into their lives just recently.. and how she was looking forward to meeting him.. this couple had been married for 10 yrs.. she had other skids.. this was an additional one that came out of the woodwork.. I thought.. Good lord no.. I would have been fuming.. not welcoming.

Momto2's picture

Submitted by Momto2 on Thu, 03/20/2008 - 9:39am

I have been told by many people that they think I am a saint for being so accepting of my SD. I don't know, I don't feel like a saint. I just could never blame that little girl as she was a victim too. She didn't ask to be born. We have had visits since she was 5 months of age and she has grown in my heart and I feel like she is mine too. I really don't know what we would do in our family without her now. My 6 year old son loves her to death. She is a very happy little girl emotionally because we have been there in her life. I just feel like she was meant to be here and things happen for a reason. Even my family has accepted her with open arms. She calls my parents Grandma and Grandpa and my sister's kids her cousins. She is loved by everyone. I am a much happier person for being loving and forgiving too rather than being bitter and angry. I hope that makes sense.