Help with teens
We are a somewhat blended step family. I have a 14 yr girl and my husband has a 14 yr boy, 15 yr boy, and 16 yr girl.
During the school year my daughter stays with my parents. Husband's kids live in Delaware with mother and visit every other weekend.
During the summer my daughter stays with us and now only his 14 yr son visits.
However, the past two weeks his son stayed with us. We just found out that he told his mom he purchased drugs while visiting. After further conversations, I found out he got my daughter to get the drugs for him.
My husband feels that since this happened my daughter needs punishment. He states that if he tells his son he is grounded when he comes up, son won't visit. Mother is not punishing him.
I stated what she done was wrong and I am battling with myself on how to punish her, how fair is it that the reason she is being punished is for what she did and the main problem is not being addressed.
Husband said not doing anything isn't teaching her anything but he can't do anything with his but let him know drugs are bad and what he did is wrong.
Please someone help me figure out what the hill to do? How can I deal with her with knowledge nothing is being done on the other side?
fighting inside herself
For all practical purposes
For all practical purposes your DD is your SS's dealer. She needs to understand that this could get her a long stay with the state in juvi.
I would not look at this from an equitable punishment perspective between DD and SS but from a parental responsibility perspective. You have the responsibility to parent your daughter and you should send her the unequivical message that what she did not not only wrong but illegal. Users spend far less time in prison than dealers and your daughter needs absolute clarity on this.
I understand she probably just arranged the buy but she needs clear and sever consequences for her actions.
IMHO of course.
Best regards.
Due to issues with bullying
Due to issues with bullying in school, she goes to school in another district. That was a choice my parents, BF and I came to agree with.
I have taken cell phone and computer away for the rest of summer. Tomorrow her and I are going to speak with our pastor and another member of the church. She agrees that her part in this was very wrong but I'm not giving in. Dh said this is not severe enough. She should be in her room for the next three weeks only coming out for meals and bathroom.
As for SS, dh has just received a new phone for him in the mail today and preparing to ship to ss. He said ss needs phone and that if he doesn't send, bm will just get new phone which then he is out the money.
I understand that what happened is soo wrong and for now I am mean mom but I am torn on this issue. SS is arriving for visit tomorrow and I have been told to keep my opinions to myself during this visit. And that has been the extent of our talking.