HELP SD just texted "ME" pic of wedding dress she found that says "What do you think?
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So she texts me a picture and says "What do you think?" LOL I have not responded. Need some quick answers from you guys. She is w/ BM right now ! waiting on me to respond. She comes to DH & I when it comes to money. BM just doesn't have extra money. Whatever! BM is putting her up to seeing if we will pay for it. I know that is the next thing coming when I text her back. DH & I already talked about paying so much on the wedding. Instead of her going to DH she goes through me ONLY to fill me out on what DH may think about it. Suggestions please
You and DH should decide how
You and DH should decide how much you are willing to contribute to the wedding, give it to her, and allow her to spend it in whatever way she wishes. If you are able to give a lump sum all at once, that would be best. Otherwise, tell her you will be giving her x amount each month for the wedding.
If she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to plan her own wedding and stick in a budget.
Sorry, I have no sympathy here. When I got married at 23, I paid for everything myself. You don't owe her a fancy wedding. They can go to a court house and get married by a judge and be just as married as with a big fancy wedding.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Just say that is "it very
Just say that is "it very nice but is it in your price range...remember there is a lot of cost when it comes to the wedding day the honeymoon, then of course life that smacks you head on right when you come back to reality."
I believe that what you and your husband "pay" should be as a gift after the wedding if they cant afford it they can live without it, life is about living within your means. Not your parents wallets.
Then, when she sends you a
Then, when she sends you a pic and "what do you think".... your answer can always be "I know your wedding day will be just wonderful."
I'd be tempted to play dumb -
I'd be tempted to play dumb - "Are you sure you wanted to ask ME that? It's not like I'm paying for it."
Note: DH and I have already tried to bribe SD16 into eloping when the time comes; I'm thinking we're going to refuse to have anything to do with the circus BM would plan.
OK Here goes! I responded
OK Here goes! I responded with the " I know your wedding day will be great!" Lets see what happens. Thanks all BTW we are spending 3,000 she does not know this. If she did the BM would know then she(BM) would made darn sure more expenses occur and my DH will cave. He always does. This is why when she(SD) comes to me I "NEVER" tell him anything anymore. SKids always want to run things by me so I can fill him in on things. I used to but not anymore. SKids still think I talk to him. I love to see his face when they bring things up to him and he is right there having to make a decision with me beside him. He can NEVER tell them "NO". I like being ahead of the game.
That's ALL you're spending on
That's ALL you're spending on her wedding?
That's about 3000 times what my parents spent on mine.
We had a HUGE blowout over
We had a HUGE blowout over this! I AM NOT happy with it at all. Actully I am embarrased! This is our biggest problem is money and his kids. I have 2 kids that do not expect things handed to them. Unlike my Skids. Heck I have a SS 25 married and he still comes to DH for things. He had handed his kids eerything.
can you adopt me? My parents
can you adopt me? My parents arent spending a dime on my wedding and yest this will be my first (and hopefully only) and I am in my 20's
Here is her response SD: Yes,
Here is her response
SD: Yes, it will be great! I think I can find one cheaper?
SD: What do you think?
ME: Think about what?
SD: The dress?
ME: It's beautiful!
SD: Well aren't you going to ask how much?
ME: You said you think you could find one cheaper.
SD: Do you even want to know?
ME: It's not my wedding. It's your day!
LOL Hooboy she's
LOL Hooboy she's squirming!
SD: Do you even want to know?
You: Why on earth would I? You're shopping with your mother, right? She's the one who should want to know.
Here's my update. But first,
Here's my update. But first, I want to say that I am SO happy I can actually vent to someone about my issues with Skids & DH and get feedback. WHAT A RELIEF !! I will be on here more often. I can actually write a book in my last 2 yrs since being married. Not that my kids do not have their own faults like not taking their drink to the sink & leaving it overnight on the end table, not taking bath towels to the laundry room along with their dirty clothes so they can be washed. Serioius thats all DH complains about. But SD16 can leave her drinks out and all the above and nothing is said, he picks up behind her without complaining. I think DH picks at me kids because he has to find something to complain about.
Update- Got home last night about an hour went by SD calls DH bla bla bla(I always find something to do in another room when he tt Skids because it makes me sick listening to him say "Well, OK, You don't worry,I'll take care of it" 9 times out of 10 thats how it goes. So he gets off the phone & says:
DH: That was SD
ME: Was it? Is everything OK?
DH: Oh ya she sd something about sending you a pic of a dress
ME: Yes, it was beautiful!
DH: Wonder how much thats going to cost?
ME: Hmm did she not say?
DH: No, she just asked me if you told me about her finding one.
ME: yeah it was busy at work when she sent it & couldn't get back to her until about time to leave the office.I'm going to start super can you get the drinks out of the car for me?
He knew I didn't give a rats ass about it & he just looked at me. I'm going to just sit back and watch the show now guys!
Hahaha smart move. When I
Hahaha smart move. When I sent my stepmom a pic of the dress I just wanted to show her. I'm actually paying for mine myself though in payments. I know my stepmom would be willing to send me money but I've come to a point in my life where I feel I should make adult decisions and not have to depend on any of my parents. It is really rude that your SD thinks you obliged to pay when you are already paying for her wedding! This is definitely BMs job.