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HELP!!!! BM has turned SIL against me!

sweetiebaby's picture

Setting the stage: she's not really my Sister in law, she's my boyfriends sister. She was really close to BM while she and my BF were married because SIL doesn't have any sisters and the two of them were very similar. But constantly in competition. BM couldn't get pregnant because of fertility issues but SIL could and did; BM would get pissy when SIL talked about her pregnancy at ALL. After divorce, I heard all sorts of stuff about BM from SIL. mostly negative.
BM yelled at me a couple of weeks back claiming I was trying to become SD2's mother and push BM out of her life (I wish I had that kind of power!). Earlier that week, SIL had asked me if I wanted to go to a class at the gym with her, we were friendly etc. things were good.
BM and SIL have been spending a lot of time together (compared to before) recently taking thier kids on outings and such. Now SIL won't even say goodbye to me when she leaves anywhere we are together. At a family bday party she hugged everyone but BF and I. on Tuesday at MIL's she hugged everyone but BF and I, yelled good bye to him and nothing to me. She is cold to me. Makes negative comments about ANYTHING BF and I buy saying that we are wasting money (don't get me started on the $4 juice bottles she bought her kids (2 for $4!!))
Its not like her behavior won't come back to bite her in the butt later on, it will and I'll make sure of it. But what do I do about it now? BF said that he is going to say something to his mother about her behavior, esecially since he was told to act respectfuly towards her idiot of a husband. But I told him not to because SIL is perfect in the eyes of MIL. She usually makes excuses for the actions.
I've just been ignoring SIL, do I continue? Or what? Does anyone have experience with somethng like this? (I really hope not because its just crappy)

frustratedinMA's picture

I am sure if you wait long enough.. those two will have a falling out again.. and that is when i would mention something to her.. When she is pro You again. Until then, I would ignore her back and pretend like she doesnt exist. that means, no cards for her bday, no gifts for her at the holidays.. and if you see her calling the house.. DONT answer. just let it go to vmail.

I am sorry that she is being a pill.. but she sounds a bit off to begin with.

bluebunny's picture

I would ignore her. I agree with frustratedinMA.

My FSIL is friends with my DF's ex. She has never said or done anything mean to me, but I am very careful with what I say/do around her. BM has made comments about me to DF, and the only way she would know would be from FSIL. (DF doesn't tell her much about me) FSIL is nice, but we're not 'friends'. DF has talked to FSIL about what she says to BM (but who really knows what FSIL shares with BM).

Good Luck.

Most Evil's picture

or your boyfriends family, but you sure don't have to take crap from any of them.

I would just ignore her and act like you don't even notice whatever she is saying or doing, you are just completely bored whenever she is around.

I would not ask anyone to say anything to her, then she will feel like she is getting to you. Let her come to you. If she never does, you are lucky! no really

I have a BIL I refuse to be around at all, it is no big loss to me, he is a criminal basically, you have to hide your purse when they come around - nice, huh?

You don't need 'friends' like this!

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

peace-keeper's picture

Try to find humor in the situation ! My husbands brother went to the Ukraine met a girl half his age married her and brought her to the states . She is a pretty girl , but she is rude and loves to tell everyone how to raise kids and give unwanted relationship advice . She loved to side up with my DH's ex-wife and also my mil . BTW my MIL hates my guts so it has been a team effort to make my life hell . They all got together to "get rid of me " , but it didnt work . They have even gone as far as having my husbands girlfriend from high school call and tell me that she has been having a affair with my DH . My sil did not have kids and didnt want kids until I told the money hungry whore that my DH was adopting my kids and that they would become heirs to my in-laws estate . I made it up and told my husband that she would be pregnant in a month . My husband found it very funny when two months later she was pregnant . Anyway point is "dont waste your life trying to make them like you " ! Let them make fools of themselves and enjoy the show ! I could tell you a bunch of stories about the things they try to do but it would take to long . Love yourself , love your husband and the kids and let the rest of them waste their life being miserable while you enjoy yours , in the long run what they say and do doesnt matter anyway !