You are here

He left me at the wedding ...

Failing Optimist's picture

So big fat told you so about dh. Last time I posted here was about three weeks ago (even though I read here every day). I guess I just wasn't willing to actually accept what happened. So I have posted how hubby wanted a divorce, ignored me for days on end. You all told me not to bring him to a friends wedding but he had taken the day off work and I don't like to air my dirty laundry in public and I guess I was too proud to admit to friends in public and real life that things had gotten do bad. Anyway about 12pm hubby decided he wanted to leave. I told him it was too early and I wasn't ready to go. He left. I was crying out of utter humiliation and he came around the corner told me to get some self respect for myself and basically got in a taxi and left me. Vulnerable, drunk and in the middle of nowhere. I spent about 2 hours trying to get a taxi home on my own. The embarrassment if it. After I left, I sat at the table and everyone could see I was left alone (the only person I knew was the groom who is a best buddy old friend of mine but he was understandable busy) so I sat at the table alone trying not to cry.

I told dh after this (the next day) to go ahead with the divorce. We have holidays from work fit two weeks. He's taken ss camping for the past 3 days so I haven't had to look at his face but he's been so nice the past couple of days doing things which I've only ever wanted him to do, being attentive and sweet. I'm so confused. Seriously it feels like a head fuck. If I even think about the wedding and how humiliated I was I never want to see him again but on the other hand he's been texting me on his camping trip to see how I am. I know the whole thing is stupid and if I was reading someone else's story I would say run away from this man. Why isn't it as easy when it's you? Why can't I take my own advice ...

Failing Optimist's picture

Without sounding dramatic, beginning to feel like one of those battered wives emotionally

hereiam's picture

I don't think you are being dramatic. If you feel like you are being emotionally abused, you probably are.

I am a little confused though, as your blog in April of this year talks about him not even wanting to discuss marriage for a few more years (which was a huge red flag and people told you to leave him then).

It's never easy to make this kind of change in your life but honestly, if you are not legally married that does make it a little easier. He sounds like an ass.

Orange County Ca's picture

Why do you think he wants out? Is alcohol involved? If you are drinking daily you may not realize how you appear and act towards him.

OrangeUGlad's picture

We told you not to go to the wedding... I mean, I hate to say "We told you so" but as long as you stick around, he is going to keep kicking you.

Pack up your stuff and sleep in the car if you have to.

I am contemplating leaving over MUCH much less bullshit than you have put up with.

OrangeUGlad's picture

I think he drove them there, then took the car and left her... if you live in a city like mine, two hour wait for a cab is about par.

I would not get drunk at a wedding either, but people do it.

I think the previous threads about their problems were deleted or buried, but if you had seen the one where she said she was going with him to the wedding you would be less confused. Totally co-dependent relationship (saying that with sympathy as a typical enabler myself!)

edited to add: missed that he took cab. either way, its not always easy to catch one.