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Has a anyone had to have stepchild arrested?

Ryna0114's picture

SD is turning 16 the 21st of this month.  She has run away once, the police had to bring her back.  She sleeps with any boy that will all for the sole purpose of getting pregnant.  She lies on me to anyone and everyone that will listen, she is a master at playing the victim.  Has made death threats of killing me twice.  Husband sent her to his sisters to see if she can help, his sister called me yesterday and told me that she cannot help her because she is out of control, she told her Aunt that maybe my 8 year old son would accidentally fall down the stairs and break his neck.  Her Aunt asked her why on earth would she say something like that and SD15 said because it would hurt me if something happened to my son, which is also her biological brother.  We have called a lawyer and he told us that he should go talk to the chief of police and see if they will arrest her and basically put her in a detention center to shock her and give her a reality check that there are consequences to your behavior.  Has anyone had to go this far, and if so please share your story and advice on the system.  Who to call, etc.  Husband said that if he could throw her out or get emancipated from her he would in a second.  We have done therapist, behavioral units, talk therapy nothing works and she will say so.  She called DHS on me and lied, when asked why she said because now our hands our ties and she can do what she wants, and she does just that.  Thanks for listening..

Evil3's picture

I don't know about where you live, but I'm in Canada and here you could go talk to a child protection social worker and ask the intake worker for advice. It may be reportable since she has made comments about your son, an 8 year old child. Call CPS or the equivalent of where you live and tell them you would like to report a child protection concern. When they hear those words, they'll talk to you today. Your child protection concern is of your SD uttering threats against her young brother and they cannot be in the same house.

Ryna0114's picture

We are in Mississippi and I have already called them and said the lady I needed to talk to was gone for the week.  No help, that is why I called a lawyer to see if there was something that could be done.  He said go to the police, husband is going to get off work early and go.  

ESMOD's picture

YOur first priority is the safety of your son.  If you can't ensure his safety in your home.. you need to get him to where he will be safe.  Is the SD still at the aunt's.. or is she coming home? 

I might insist that my DH move out with his daughter.. go to stay with her outside the home until the CPS can get involved.

Siemprematahari's picture

If you have no other alternatives than maybe she needs a good dose of the detention center. There would be no way in h@ll I'd ever allow her to live with me under the same roof after death threats and the comment she made about her brother.

flmomma08's picture

Ugh what a shitty situation. Ultimately you can't allow her to be under the same roof as your son after she's made those type of threats. That's not something I would take lightly at all (and it doesn't sound like you are). Do you have the threats in writing by any chance? I feel like its going to be hard to make any kind of case out of it, especially since your SIL is the one who actually heard it. What about a boarding school?

Ryna0114's picture

I agree with everyone.  My son and I will go to stay with my parents if she is brought here.  I have already told my parents and they agree completely.  He will not be put in harm's way.  The social service coordinator actually called me back as I was typing the first part of this while on vacation.  The lady I talked to called her.  She said yo have SD 15 arrested also.  She said they cannot help if we don't get her in the system.  It is just scary on all fronts.  

Ryna0114's picture

We are still paying on the 20 thousand dollar bill from a behavioral unit that did no good.  We do not have the money to pay thousands of dollars to a boarding school.  Our insurance will only pay a short term for mental health.  The social worker said she may need a mental hospital too.  But first step is to get her picked up by police and sent to a detention center.  

Rags's picture

Nope, we never had to call the cops on SS. 

But.. I think far more parents should call the cops on ill behaved criminal little shit spawn. Regardless biological relationship to those wastes of procreating cells.

A good friend of mine called the police and eventually initiated forced emancipation on his middle of three first marriage daugthers when she was 16/17yo.  He refused to tolerate her crap and complete disregard for the household rules and her lack of respect for the law.  It was a great move.

20 years later they are very close and in business together.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

She has to break the law in order to be arrested. The police can't just pick a kid up and take them to a juvenile detention center because a parent wants them to. Even if she did break the law, she might just be issued a ticket and returned home. The police are not social workers. They can only enforce the law.

What did the social worker tell you to have her arrested for doing?


Ryna0114's picture

You are exactly right.  They can not arrest her, but they can if she runs away again, has an outburst, etc.  It is called incorrigible behavior.  That is what the social worker told us to get them to charge her with.  The policeman suggested we get her back from her Aunts, see if the same Aunt would watch our 8 year old so that he is not in harm's way, and wait basically for her to bolt and then call the law, then they can hold her and more importantly bring this child before a judge.  I am so emotionally drained, this is so frustrating.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Did he guarantee she would be immediately place out of the home? Most runaways are returned to their parents. Different jurisdictions may handle things differently, I just hope they are giving you accurate information on what will actually happen in you case.

No wonder you are emotionally drained! You have my sympathies.

RisingtheWave80's picture

We haven't had SD arrested but we have had to call the cops because she destroyed our property. The cops did no more than have a talking to her about anger and how she displays it. Sometimes you have no other choice, but cops are reluctant to bring kids in. We have moved to having her placed in a special school and if she screws up there then the school brings her to court.