Hard Time Coming To Terms With No More Ours Babies
I feel like I know the answer to this, and my head says one thing-- but my heart is just having a hard time with it right now.
In a nutshell, I am kind of mourning the loss of not having any more "ours" babies. I know, I know. Here's the list of practical reasons why we should definitely not have any more kids:
1- We already have 3 total, 1 SK and 2 bios
2- Our bios are very close in age, we've got 2 in diapers. It can be really hard.
3- Finances for 3 kids, 1 that we pay child support towards and the others that require just a lot of STUFF x2 (carseats, high chairs, cribs, strollers, etc). It's like having twins to a degree, you're on the hook for 2 of everything at this stage
4- We'd definitely have to upgrade to a larger vehicle. We're really skimping by now with a mid size SUV, but we'd almost certainly need either a large one or a minivan if we had another
5- Our ages. We're not young... 30's and 40's right now. Many of our friends have kids that are in middle/high school or older, where we are just starting out with ours because we met a little later in life
6- I'm pretty sure my SK would explode if we had any more babies LOL
Ok but, here's where I am struggling. The finality of no more babies of my own. I don't consider my SK to be mine, truly. So, their milestones, while cool, don't impact me the way my own kids' milestones impact me. Right now with the baby, everything seems like the last. It's the last time that I'll ever see MY baby roll over for the first time. It's the last time I'll ever watch MY baby take their first bite of food, etc. And I should be thankful that I've gotten to experience that twice now. But, it still stings a little that one of the reasons we aren't having any more is because of the shared resources with my SK. And that yes, DH has three kids, but I only have 2 and that yes-- we COULD have more, but lets be real-- we're getting old(er) fast(er) than I'd like to admit.
DH says if I really, REALLY want more-- he will have another one. But, I don't want to have to talk someone into having a child, and he really is right. 3 is plenty. 3, with 1 that we pay extra for is a lot on our household. We're comfortable right now, and we're able to have a nice lifestyle and still get to see/do what we want for the most part. Adding another child would surely blow that up and we'd be back to struggling like we were a few years ago.
So, how did those of you who wanted more ours babies, but didn't have any more, finally close the door on that chapter?