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This is hard....

MayCorine85's picture

So I am a teacher and have spent the majority of my summer taking care of my twins and SD. My SD ended up with us most of the summer after her mom had a baby and then was sick for a while. So last week she finally went home and I felt like I could breathe again. Now my DH tells me that her mom is trying to send SD back over here or DH parents house. I get that you have a newborn, but everyone else has things to do to. Im just so tried! I have had no time for me and school is starting back soon. I wanted to go out of town with DH alone, but dont see how that can happen now. I honestly just dont know if im up for this. I didnt know how much it was going to be. I feel like each week its something else going on with SD. I knew she had behavior issues but didn't know it was going to cause so many other issues.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Tell your DuH he will be 100% responsible for his prior spawn. You will no longer babysit. Watch him reverse gear and tell his ex no.

Kes's picture

I said in your last blog post that having newborn twins is more than a full time job and that it is NOT your job to mind your SD.  If it were me, I would just straight up tell my DH I am not doing it.    Whatever he decides is not your concern but you are not going to be responsible for minding his daughter. 

Monkeysee's picture

BM might have a newborn, but SD is HER daughter & you aren’t free childcare. Clearly she feels that’s what you are, and that’s too bad for her. Tell your DH no. If he wants to have SD all the time then either he watches her 100% when she’s over, he arranges childcare for her, or a combo of both. You are not responsible for their child, BM having a newborn does not change that fact. People come home from the hospital & have to deal with their prior children all the time. 

Winterglow's picture

Bm is an idiot. Your SD is 12, that is the perfect age for her to be helping her mother. She doesn't need a sitter, just a heap of things to keep her busy. So, tell your dh that she is NOT your responsibility, you will NOT be looking after her, and that she could be doing a  lot of good in her mother's home. Time she learned a little independence, life skills and resourcefullness... they will all serve her well later in life.

tog redux's picture

Wait - you have twins, BM has one baby, and somehow you are the better option to care for SD? 

No is a complete sentence. Use it. 

lorlors's picture

My SD 17 has just been shipped back to live with her awful hellhound of a mother. I have my house to myself and life is bloody excellent. Don’t provide an excuse or reason. You don’t need one.

Rags's picture

Time to play the equity life partner card.  Book the get away for your and DH, send the Skid to BM, ask your family for help with the twins while you and DH are on your get away.

Don't ask. Tell.

Where was BM when you were dealing with brand new baby twins?

Take care of  you.