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SaraJean's picture

I am so pissed right now I could explode!!! So SD16 gets in a fight at school yesterday and got suspended from school for 3 days. I was fully expecting DH to be his passive self and just let it go (like he has with the missing beer, calling me a bitch, punching holes in the wall, etc, etc) but he actually took her car away. I didn't ask for how long, I don't really care, I was just shocked that he actually gave her an f'ing consequence. I was actually proud of him. Well that was short lived because I just saw her at the bank driving grandma's (MIL) car. Really?? So what's the point of being grounded from her car if she can just use someone elses?? Really effective punishment. Not to mention the second that DH did give her a consequence, she ran straight to BM who called DH and laid into him about how over-the-top he was over the fight. So she ran to BM's house when she was disciplined, then had grandma come get her this morning so she could come to our house and shower, then asked daddy if she could use grandma's car to "run some errands". Jeez, I wish my punishments when I was a teen were so laxed...but then maybe I would've turned out to be some careless adult like my DH since he was never disciplined.....UGH...vent over. Thanks.

Cocoa's picture

i hope this kid doesn't live with you, sounds like my step-son - mil and bm fighting any consequences he's given by my dh. it's a losing battle. this kid doesn't have a prayer. i'd make sure all your money is separate cause this girl is gonna be a sink-hole. and i read a bit of your bio. no way in hell would my ss ever even be allowed in my home if he disprespected me like she has you. and, i hope this girl has a job and actually participated in the purchase of this vehicle, or none of your money was used.

keepingitreal's picture

Shes damn lucky she aint one of ours! She wouldent be seeing the outside world accept to sweat her ass off doing hard work while we sip iced tea let alone be driving a car!

keepingitreal's picture

LOL! What a WONDFERL AWFUL idea, I love it Smile I'm saving that one dtzyblnd :)what about refilling the gastank? Nah! Biggrin

Orange County Ca's picture

You are disengaged right? If not read this:

Disengagement means letting go mentally and to do it completely means to let go of your own thoughts and reactions to how a spouse raises their children. Let the kids go to hell in a handbasket if that what spouse wants to allow.

A billion kids will be raised in your lifetime without help from you and most of them will turn out just fine, including this one, without help from you. Whenever you see this happening just remember you're disengaged.

SaraJean's picture

imaSmom: I was actually proud of DH for giving her some kind of consquence as he usually turns a blind eye to her behavior. I would've preferred him to actually enforce what he had orginally planned for her punishment: no car period, but he is spineless and anytime SD asks him for something, such as "running errands" (why does she have to run errands anyways?? She's suspended from school, can't go to BB practice or games during her suspension, so she has to have cash and whatever else for what reason???)he gives in. Her punishments last 5 minutes, so I would've liked to see him actually follow thru for once.

I know it shouldn't bother me (since I've disengaged) that he allowed her to take MIL's car, but it did. The reason it, and all of the other times he gives in, bothers me is because we have a DS14, a freshman in HS, who witnesses everything. I don't want him to believe that this kind of behavior is acceptable and that the punishments will be minor. I want him to know, and I tell him everytime DH backs down, that if he were to do these things, the consequences will not be so laxed. I want him to learn from his mistakes, not think..oh, no big deal, I can handle _____ punishment (or none at all!)if I do ____. Not happening. DS told me that he is embarassed by SD. This fight is the second major thing that's happened this school year (1st is that SD sent her bf nude pics of her and when they broke up, he shared them with the entire school). Yes the fight and the pics don't directly affect DS, but he is affected by the gossip, teasing, etc that came from her behavior.