Grade 8 graduation
Okay my SS graduates grade 8 this year. ( he refuses to visit with my SO and myself) in short he hates me. His choice he use to like me then the BM got involved and squashed that relationship.. anyways on to topic, so his grade 8 grad is coming up and my SO wants us to go, which I want to go as well, except my SS has made it clear he doesn't not want us there. He has said my SO can go but if he sees me he will get mad and not talk to us. When my SD graduated grade 8 I made her a wrist corsage and she refused to wear it and made a comment about how ugly it was in front of everyone, and now my SS is saying that my SO was a good father until I came along. Do I go or do I stay away? I want to see him graduate but I dont want to cause any problems . His BM has said she doesn't want me there either and she isn't sure if she want my SO there she is letting us know if we can come. Wth...
Please help
It's his graduation and he
It's his graduation and he doesn't want you there and will be mad if you go....why on earth do you want to go?
Don't go.
Are you married?
If you are the GF, that one thing. That up to your SO really to make the decision. About graduation, Then it’s your decision to continue this relationship or not. Or have a major talk on how your life is going to be. If this child is ever going to be in your life or not.
If you are married. And a actually SM I would go. Since ,You already made the choice, that this child will not have anything to do with you an your DH at this time. I guest there no EOWE visitation. Maybe if a few years you may have a relationship with your SS
Why do you want to go? An
Why do you want to go? An 8th grade graduation has to be boring, boring, boring.
I wouldn't go. I try not to
I wouldn't go. I try not to attend events where I'm not welcome. Plus there's nothing remotely appealing to me about an 8th grade graduation.
Your husband should put his
Your husband should put his foot down and tell him that you will both be attending. Or you will both not attend.
Or tell SS
you are not calling the shots at age 14. We will both be in attendance and you will respect my wife when you see her.
why would you want to go?
Why would you want to go if he wanted you there let alone if he doesn't!?? We (rather DH) had 3 graduations in last few weeks - my DS 18 graduated high school, DD14 8th grade and his son SS14 graduated 8th. DH is a meaningful figure in my kids' lives and went to my kids' graduation ceremonies, pictures beforehand, dinner etc. My kids wanted him there, along with their father. I did not offer, nor did DH ask me to attend SS's graduation. I have no relationship with him and do not care. Also all the boys wore shirts and ties and his stupid fat ass wore a polo shirt - he is an utter embarrassment and I'd never claim to know him.
Don't go. It's not really his
Don't go. It's not really his "choice" to not have you go, this is being driven by BM. So SO should go, and if SS speaks to him, he should say, "Wishing says congratulations", when BM isn't in earshot. None of this is really SS's choice, he's trying to please his mother or get out from under her pressure. So he will deep down be happy that you still care about him enough to wish him well - but don't go, because that will cause drama.
I'd tell SO to go by himself.
I'd tell SO to go by himself. I'd instruct him that he shouldn't even mention my name. Don't sign my name to the card you get for him. Whatever you give him is your decision. A gift is from you alone, not both of us.
It's skid's graduation. My gift is doing exactly what he asked. I will not be there. I won't intrude with either a card or a gift. He gets what he wanted.
I'm Confuzzled!
You are an SO, yet you call his son your SS!?!?
This is a classic case of putting the cart before the horse. Take a GIANT step back. Don't try to parent. Let your SO take care of his responsibility and be a parent.
As for the graduation, IF your SO wants you to attend and IF you want to go, then go. Don't get a gift or anything. Let your SO do that and you just be arm candy. I applaud your wanting to help, but step parenting and being a step child is really a tender relationship to navigate and it is the parents that need to steer this ship in order for it to work.
Oh you go. Go and rock a
Oh you go. Go and rock a happy life. Radiate happiness. Go to your favorite salon for a cut and make over, go to your favorite boutique and get a flattering outfit. Be on your DH's arm.
If the little shit gets cranky, so be it. No skin off of your nose. Do not let the infantile teens hurt your feelings. Keep rubbing their noses in the stench of their crappy behavior and let the odor stick to them. Do not say a word to them or give them a thing. Just be there with your DH. Talk about how much you have spent on them over the years, helped them, etc.... and watch them simmer.
Ha!
Go to everything. You are your DH's bride and the two of you go through your life together whether anyone else likes it or not.
Enjoy!