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Good book!!!

Doodle's picture

Hi All,

I picked up this book based on the great reviews on Amazon, 5 stars with 103 reviews. I highly recommend it for anyone who has a contentious relationship with the ex, and anyone dealing with child alienation. (I think we all fall into one or the other, probably both!)

The book is called Divorce Poison, it's by Dr. Richard A. Warshak

Here are the Amazon editorial reviews:

From Publishers Weekly
In Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Richard A. Warshak (The Custody Revolution) offers guidance to parents whose exes portray them to their children in a negative light, whether it's mild, off-the-cuff badmouthing or systematic character assassination. Common psychological wisdom, besides recommending that parents avoid fighting fire with fire, suggests doing nothing. But Warshak has witnessed the feelings of powerlessness and the increasing difficulties that come from doing nothing. So he provides "a blueprint for an effective response grounded in a solid understanding of the techniques and dynamics of parents who poison their children's relationships with loved ones." After describing numerous nuances of inter-parental malignment (brainwashing, false abuse accusations, revisionist history, etc.), Warshak moves on to "Poison Control," both independently and with the help of professional counselors. This book will seem a godsend to the many divorc‚s who are bashed by their ex-spouses. (Regan Books, $26 304p ISBN 0-06-018899-5; Jan.)
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist
Some level of animosity is typical in divorce, but when parents let those feelings degenerate into bad-mouthing, bashing, or brainwashing, they run the risk of emotionally damaging their children, according to child psychologist Warshak. He looks at the poisonous relationships that develop when parents carry criticism of their ex-spouses too far: parents and children estranged from one another, protracted and bitter custody and visitation battles, and even ruined relationships with the extended families. He uses case studies to illustrate how parents--sometimes unconsciously, sometimes deliberately--force children to choose between them and turn against the other parent. He describes a range of difficulties, from tainted parent-child relationships to an emotional disturbance known as parental alienation syndrome. Warshak offers strategies for parents to examine their motivations when they speak against a former spouse, to curb negative impulses, and to repair damage that may already have been done. Useful resource for families dealing with divorce and child rearing. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Doodle's picture

UGH, boys are so stoopid.

I guess you can't help those who refuse to help themselves, kudos to you for at least trying!

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

UGH! I resold the book on Amazon to someone who could put it to good use.


There's an idea Crayon. Thanks. Wink I've read it about 8 times and DH a total of zero times.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

I bought that book for my DH about three months ago and guess where it still sits as of today? Under my bathroom sink in the cabinets.

Who? actually read it? Me, of course.

Doodle's picture

OK, you guys are kinda freaking me out. Should I assign chapters to the BF then ask for reports at a regular basis? lol

Why are men in such denial, and why is it so difficult for them to admit that sometimes they need help?

I'm going to pass this on to BF when I am done reading it, he better read it himself and not be a baby about it.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Denial is the easy way "out." Not really though, it comes back to haunt you, over and over again until they are willing to accept / face the issues.

Another, "sad but true" point of view~