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Going on holiday & celebrations

Maggie86's picture

My SS seems to think that every trip or holiday we go on as a family or with the extended family has to be all about him. I am sick of it. 

there are SOOOOOOOOO many example but the ones that stand out are.......

3 years ago we took him and my mother in law (father i law was away on a trip and she is lovely so happy to have her) but my SS acted like a right brat because he had to walk 5 minutes to the restaurant and then  he kicked off as it wasnt the restuarant he liked. year after i said to my husband annivarsaires are for us so we took the camper van and on the way to our campsite bio mum rings and SS been excluded from school. Another weekend ruined.

Several ruined camping trips in between

We booked Hard rock hotel wost holiday ever! We took hand luggage only son teenager at this time and OMG complained about carrying his bag, the food, that fact me and his dad didnt want to leave the hotel couple of days so we could relax they had a hub area for kids so tried to encourage him to meet other ppl. My huband got ill mid holiday was ok after couple of days then i got ill, the heat was insane and my SS was acting like a right so and so. I was so ill the day we left, ended up spliting my lip on a water bottle (dont ask), threw up in the street all whilst my SS complanied about carrying the extra small bag that contained 3 tops whilst my husband took my carry on bag off me whilst he carried his own. By this point I cried. 

More camping trips ruined here

One camping trip I told my husband i really didnt want to take my SS on but for him i eventually agreed and expected it was ruined. Went took SS camping told him the weekend before sort clothes for me to pack and he didnt so i sorted them. We got to the campsite he did nothing but moan about everything then when he saw what clothes he had he complained he either didnt like them or they didnt fit. I went in the van and cried. I went to alot of effort to make sure we had everything we required.

Now lockdown is over we want to start camping again but told my partner I am not going if my SS goes. I dont no how serious I am. I feel bad putting my husband in that position but at the same time his holidays are ruined not just mine and he want to give his son the experince of travel. I do as well but why does it have to be done at the expense of me and my husband having a rubbish time. 

What would you do honestly?

 

 

hereiam's picture

Stand your ground and do not go if your husband insists on his jerk son going.

Don't feel bad, as you have not put your husband in any position, he has done it himself by allowing his son to be such a jerk, with no apparent consequences, and by insisting that he is included, even though he ruins every trip.

If he wants to give his son the experience of travel, he can do it on his own. Although, his son has proven that he doesn't deserve it and doesn't appreciate it. I would tell him that, too, that you are not willing to waste your vacation time, nor your energy or money on a trip with an ingrate.

I don't understand why some parents continue to give their kids the impression that they can act any 'ol way and still get what they want. Not exactly a great life lesson.

tog redux's picture

How old is this kid? Sounds like he's a teenager at least.

I wouldn't go anywhere with him. DH can go alone with him and take other trips alone with you.

Merry's picture

If the trip is intended as a "family" trip, then DH does all the planning, packing, etc. for himself and SS. DH also handles all the whining and crying, and you be prepared to do something on your own, even if it's finding a coffee shop or library and spending a few hours on your own.

If the trip is intended as a trip for you and DH, then that's what it is. SS doesn't go. If DH changes his mind about that, then YOU don't go with them. See if a girlfriend will go with you somewhere else.

But no matter, the trips of old where SS is allowed to be in charge are OVER.

shellpell's picture

I don't go on any trips anymore with ss after ONE miserable trip. Why torture yourself? Dh needs to take separate vacations with you from now on. 

caninelover's picture

Rip off the band aid with SO.  Tell him you don't appreciate SS's complaining and lack of effort in participating in a positive way, including packing beforehand.  If he's a teenager he's old enough to stay home or with a friend while you guys go and camp.

It will be a good message to SS to shape up or he doesn't get invited.

If SO balks then I would not go camping with them and tell him he needs to take SS with him if he goes anyway so you can spend a quiet weekend at home.