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Glad I Didn't Attend SD Wedding

NewBeginning's picture

SD wedding was last Monday and I did not go. And I'm happy. Her new husbsnds family was all there. My husbsnds family is huge and only 4 attended causing her in laws to question where we all were. Since she's accused her ex husband of raping his own daughters we've all shied away from her. We don't want any part of this farce. Soon they will see what we all do. A liar, thief, and cheat. And I saw the pics of the wedding. My husband and her mother never speak. They were seated up front together. If I had went I would have had to sit way in the back by myself. I will never understand why this has to be done at any wedding. I have no jealous thoughts of this woman but why my SD still feels the need to showcase them as a couple clearly speaks volumes to me. I actually get along with my hubby's ex so I could care less they sit together. But this was a trash looking out door wedding where no one dressed up. Yet they had to be seated together for SD's sake. My hubby's family is huge. Would love to be a fly on the wall to hear how she explained our absence. LOL!

NewBeginning's picture

Well Heavenlike - since you know me and what me and my in laws have dealt with from my SD I guess you know it all - therefore what you say is golden. In reality what you say is BS.

Let me let you in on the life I've lived with this monster. She is 25 and married the man she was screwing who lived with her and her ex husband as a homeless person that her ex supported. She got pregnant by this homeless man and her and her ex divorced - they had 3 kids together. In the past 5 weeks she has plastered all over Facebook and other venues that her ex was caught raping their 2 and 4 year old daughter both vaginally and rectally. Add to that he forced them to give him oral sex and filmed it posting it on YouTube. She took these girls to a huge hospital and had doctors poking around these girls' vaginas and rectums and put them under a spotlight to let them tell the horrors of their own father raping them. His house was busted into - computers and phones seized only to find no evidence. No evidence on the girls either - bodies intact. Her plan in marrying this guy has not been hid - she wants their father erased out of their lives and new hubby adopt them.

My DH's family is HUGE. Should I go on?? Oh yes I shall. Just so you know the deal and can stop your judging as to which you know nothing about. My DH has about 140 immediate family members and only 4 showed to her wedding. SD has stolen thousands of dollars from ALL of us. Bordering grand theft. Things have been caught on her person that belong to us or other people. I've known her since 2008 and she said back then that DH had to either pick her or me. That statement has been stated over the years anytime Princess doesn't get her way - it was just said 3 weeks before the wedding to show her thought of me still to this day.

NO ONE in my husband's family believes a word she says. Since 2008 she has had 3 people arrested claiming they ether beat or raped her - all being found innocent. Her mother did the exact same thing when she was with DH. Lied, cheated, stole, created stories. SD has taken after mom but has taken it further with the accusation of rape to her kids.

Her husband's family is huge and they all were in attendance. They have been told - by her - that she's misunderstood and she doesn't know why we stay clear. My MIL has pretty much disowned her for the years of lying. This girl has many ventures - she's wrote books, been in movies, got a full scholarship to a collage - without even having a diploma - imagine that??? - claims she got a 4 year degree in 6 months - diploma nor GED.

You have NO idea about ANY of this to judge and if you want to feel it was honoring her mother and father by sitting in dirty lawn chairs in the front then so be it. I could care less. DH didn't talk to his ex because he hates her with a passion. Her husband's family is highly religious and they all set where they chose and with their perspective spouse/partner where they wanted. SD knew pics would get out so I would see DH and the ex together but sorry to tell her it desnt bother me a bit. His ex wife is a fruitcake. If my DH though he needed to do anything with this freak he'd hsve to leave my home to get it. There was no honor to it. If there was she would have had her husband's family sit together despite being dvorced. But they all sat where they wanted.

Before you go judge somene and label them like your smart mouth did me - find out their story. There is nothing at all about me that points to SNOB. Would YOU go support someone such as this?? Bet not.

ldvilen's picture

I suspect a lot more would have went on than just where her parents were seated. And, at no other event in the world would a married couple be split up. And by married couple, I mean DH and his wife (SM). Everyone acts like SMs are just supposed to magically know at this event she is supposed to stay in the back and "pretend" she is not married to her husband. Who would have thunk? Not me. Not only are SMs generally not given a heads up about this, but dads are rarely given a heads-up either. Dads are supposed to again just show up and magically know that they are going to have to be their ex's little puppy during the entire event and have absolutely nothing to do with their now spouse and love of their life, even tho. they may have been married for 10, 20 years or so.

Here’s a different spin on a SM wedding story—a different kind of ending. After what happened at my SD’s wedding (long story, but I'll simplify it by saying it was doormat treatment plus), a year later when my SS mentioned his engagement and upcoming wedding the following year, I told my husband I would not be going. My husband was well aware of what went down at SD’s wedding and my feelings towards it all. He felt he was Shanghaied too. At first, my husband tried to talk me into going. I stayed firm and said NO. I said there was no way I was going to a destination wedding, spend all of that money, and be treated like a ho-bag. After a while, he started to actually agree. I encouraged him to attend by himself or even fly down with his daughter or some other relative. After coming to this site and others, I realized his family situation is his family situation and antagonism should not be mine to bear without my buy-in or permission. So, yes, I did encourage him to go. He is the dad, after all. Whether or not I go should have no bearing on his decision.

Several months later as his son’s wedding was approaching, he told me that after thinking about it a while, he himself had decided not to go. He told me his reason was that he didn’t want to put up with his manipulative controlling ex- and also did not want to go a destination wedding, spend all of that money, and be treated like a ho-bag. He knew that just like at his daughter’s wedding, his ex- was going to be running the show and ordering him around, plus. SO, about a month or so ago, he met alone with both his son and fiancé and explained this to them. He told them the truth about why he would not be attending. He added he was done being manipulated by his ex- period; he had had enough of this during their marriage. They said they understood, thankfully and fortunately.

Everyone always seems to FORGET DAD in this type of situation. If you want to forget your SM, that is one thing. But, forget dad and his feelings/ expectations? My husband was not given a heads up on anything and the day of was just expected to act like his ex’s date. SO, he finally decided enough is enough. Now, he did say, if the wedding was local, he probably would have gone himself, but what I’m trying to say is that it is possible for the usual gang of suspects (BM, wedding planner, SKs?, etc.) to push things too far, and for even dad to back out of any future wedding plans.

You can take this story for what it is. Don't care. But no one should ever go around assuming that everyone, especially dad, is okay with showcasing him and his ex- as a couple or "honoring her parents," or whatever spin you want to put on it.

CANYOUHELP's picture

If I had decent skids, of course I would attend. And, I wish I did have respectable, kind ones. That is far from the case for me.

But, given the ones I have who are self-centered, critical, rude, and horrible, and unapologetic about the whole thing, along with a husband that helped create these social monsters---I'll never attend. I do not want anybody to know I associate when them (and I do not), They are not nice people at all.

If yours are like this, stay away from all functions like this....for your own sanity.

Oldmom's picture

I am so very fortunate.

Should my other daughter ever decide to marry DH and I will be at the parents table and mommy dearest will, if she is even invited, sit in the back.

My other daughter finally grew a brain and saw her mother for the lying manipulative pos she is and wants nothing to do with her. The only tie left is the grandmother who has dementia and is in a nursing home.

Even the sibling on that side has been cut out.