Furious about late night call from BM
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Here to vent!
I can't quite believe it but DH's exwife called last night at 11:15 to let him know she emailed their son's teachers about missing assignments. I literally lost my mind. It was completely inappropriate in my mind. My DH was a sweetheart to me about it but it was like that was the straw that broke the camel's back and I came unglued. I just want to run away sometimes and the fact that she feels she can call our home at a late hour was too much for me to take.
Am I out of line? It was clearly no emergency
My SOs EX texts him (maybe
My SOs EX texts him (maybe texts have different rules, but I digress) she texts him at 5:30am and 11:30pm!! There are no rules in place for appropriate times!! He has his phone with him and it's turned on because he uses the alarm on it. My opinion is emails only unless it is an appropriate time of the day!!
I'm totally on your side!! ONLY emergencies or ONLY during daylight hours!!
I don't think that it's
I don't think that it's appropriate to call ANYONE at 11:30pm. It's rude.
I was taught to never call anyone's home past 9:00pm, nor was I allowed to receive phone calls past 9:00pm. As an adult I chose to stick by this rule, because at 9:00pm I'm winding down for the night and relaxing from my day. It's not "chatty" time for me.
If someone called me at 11:30pm, I would think that it was some dire emergency and that someone near and dear to me was in serious harm or danger. I'd probably have a heart attack before I even answered the phone.
I'm with you on this one my dear.
I've successfully co-parented
I've successfully co-parented my son with my ExH and I never called him at 11:30pm unless it was an emergency. And honestly, I can't ever think of even ONE emergency that I had to call him that late for. Not even if our son was sick. So what if he had the flu? That's not really an emergency. You know? Whatever it was, I always waited until the morning to call him to give him any update that needed to be conveyed to him and he gave me the same respect.
Emailing a teacher about some missing assignments is NOT an emergency. And my son ALWAYS had missing assignments.
The kid yakking all over the place with the flu is not an emergency. Whatever parent he was with when he was sick just dealt with it.
The kid having to go to the hospital or was in an accident? Now THAT is an emergency.
So yeah....
WTF.
My husband's ex had this
My husband's ex had this problem when we first married. And the funny thing is, is that he had custody of the kids...so why the hell is she calling 24/7? I definitely had to nip that in the bud, she was not happy about it at all.
Your husband has to set parameters. She cannot call you at 11:30 for BS that she could have either a) called about earlier or b) CCed him on the email.
Funny thing is, she told us a
Funny thing is, she told us a few months ago that she explained "phone etiquette" to their son and that no calls should be made past 9 p.m. I guess she felt entitled since it was info about their son. For the longest time, they barely spoke (DH and his ex) but lately she's become very chatty with him, calling him at work, calling our home very often, etc. I don't even call him at work unless I absolutely must.
My DH said I would never have to worry about her calling like that again so obviously he's going to tell her to stop but it just REALLY bothers me that she even for a moment thought it was ok to do. I know it's good that they have civil communication concerning their kids but it's like she goes completely overboard with everything. I feel sorry for my skids having such an aggressive obnoxious and rude mother as her.
My DH and her just went to
My DH and her just went to mediation over custody matters and her emails over the last couple of years have been way too excessive and it was definitely addressed by the mediators. Well, they put a clause in the new agreement that emails should be no more the 50 words (not characters) long. My DH has always kept his short and simple so this was really fun to see written in the agreement. However, now he gets lots of emails from her rather than one long one AND she calls. I think the agreement says that communication should be through email but phone calls when necessary. I'll have to ask him.
My DH is happy to be able to communicate with her with her new positive chatty attitude since the kids are so important to them both. But I see no reason for the amount of communication going on now.
If DH doesn't answer, she'll
If DH doesn't answer, she'll stop. He empowers her to do it.
BM used to call at odd hours at night, and early in the morning (like 5am early). DH has NEVER answered a call at these times. If it's an emergency, she'll leave a message or send a text.
DH needs to set some clear boundaries, tell her it's unacceptable, and stick to it.
If that was my husband's ex
If that was my husband's ex 10 years ago she could just continue to call nonstop until someone answered. I think most parents would assume that a call that late would be an emergency and answer it.