Funny how things work
and I think Disney dads...guilty dads can’t catch a break. Mine included....
skids 11 and 16 always change plans and very often call dh and ask if they can skip out on his time for something more fun with BM. BM constantly is taking his time from him for some event or family gathering or whatever. He always says yes to the requests.....
so yesterday DHs High school friend that he hasn’t seen in 20 years comes by our house to stay at the last minute....dh is supposed to have skids but always has to drive one kid back at night (thanks PAS) so he wanted to have some beers with his friend and catch up so he told BM to keep the kids yesterday she says no prob.
then DHs phone rings at 6:30 and it’s sd16 calling from some arcade restaurant where she is with BM. And she just lays into DH about why aren’t they coming over and what is he doing and who is he with....and kept on and on how she can’t believe they aren’t coming over.....mind you at 630 Pm they are in the middle of doing something with BM a good 30 min from our house.
one time in almost 4 years that dh has ever changed a plan and sd rips him a new one.....
laughable
We had the same situation,
We had the same situation, here, when SD28 was young.
She would cancel due to BM's side of the family having get togethers or doing something "more fun" than hanging out with dad, or once, it was because SD's older brother (who BM did not raise) was getting out of jail. Which by the way, is an ongoing thing (to this day) so really no big deal, there would be another, "Joe's getting out of jail" day (haha).
The ONE time DH EVER called and canceled on SD, he was literally bleeding from his intestines and was very ill (I thought he had colon cancer, he didn't). To hear SD tell it, he's a horrible dad who just didn't show up one day (lie).
DH just cannot win, especially with BPD BM in SD's ear.
Yes! Exact same. I’m sure sd
Yes! Exact same. I’m sure sd here will make him pay dearly. Which is so funny because she was supposed to stay here the night before but didn’t feel like it so she went back to BMs. So technically had she not gone to back to BMs she would have still been here yesterday when she “couldn’t believe she wasn’t coming over”
i thought it was great.....the best part is that it didn’t even Phase him.
My DH would and does call out
My DH would and does call out SS19 on that kind of stuff. I used to think he was crazy to do that because I worried it made the PAS worse, but now I'm glad he does. BM was/is going to PAS no matter what DH does, so SS might as well get some straight shooting from one of his parents.
Oh yes, so familiar. DH spent
Oh yes, so familiar. DH spent years making sure he kept his schedule clear on weekends and nights his kids were with us, so half of every week and every other weekend. He would turn down plans if they were there, we planned out time around them. After SS graduated HS and SD started becoming very sporadic about coming, he started to loosen up a little, and by that I mean there were a couple of times he went ahead with plans on her scheduled weekend to go to a concert or just out with friends, and made sure she and BM knew well in advance. Nothing negative was said at the time, but those events have come up as valuable tools in her tirades about how he is an awful father and doesn't want to see her. Never mind the dozens of times she has skipped out on him, sometimes without even a word until he was literally waiting in her mom's driveway. Plus, he never told her not to come at those times, just informing her he would not be there. Kind of like the life of a normal adult parent.
Deja vu!
It’s like what’s happened here!
This has happened twice in the last month or so. The first time was Father’s Day and BM messed up, then blamed DH, then SD13 made DH feel guilty about how the day was ruined for her. (I blogged about it)
The second time was just this past weekend (on my birthday). SD’s school has a festival every year that is usually around the time of my bday. DH told her the week before that it was my bday and that we probably wouldn’t be going to the festival. She practically lives there for those three days, so it wasn’t a matter of us not taking her. She calls DH that day to tell him we should come by so that her friends can see “the world’s cutest baby,” DD3. I think that’s cute that she wants to show off her little sister, but DH tells her that we’re not coming AND we’ve made plans to go to his brother’s house. He invited her along, but she said no. She then proceeds to text him multiple times throughout the night asking if we would come and why can’t we stop by (not to mention we would have made a full circle around the city if we tried to do everything). DH was thankfully over it and said how selfish she can be (even though he didn’t say that to her).
DH and I have realized that SD doesn’t think about other people (didn’t even say happy bday to me - and I don’t really care), and gets this way because BM gives in to whatever SD wants.