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Is this a form of manipulation or just a guy thing?

raindrop's picture

I broke up with the ex for good and I MEAN FOR GOOD! This isn't the first time that I've broken up with him though. In fact, I've called it quits a few times, but we always got back together in a short period of time. I would say that 9 times out of 10, I broke up with him because he would go days without returning my calls, or texting me. I never understood it and would become frustrated and then give him the old "It's not working out for me" line and call it off. And then he would come crawling back and me being weak, I would take him back.

Well, he ALWAYS brings up out of jest how many times I"ve broken up with him and makes it seem like I am such a bad girlfriend for doing such. But really, I think he would purposely ignore me, knowing that I would break up with him! He did something similiar to his ex gf, and he is not into confrontation one bit, so I think he does it to me, too. And then he looks like to good guy.

Anyway, he just sent me a text that I will probably respond to. It basically alludes to me dumping him a few times in the past and him wondering how long this time will be before I come back. I think I will give him a taste of his own medicine and point out that he gave me no other choice but to dump him. Ugggh, I don't know what to say, really. Maybe I will just ignore him. I just hate that he paints himself in red and me in black!

ugggh. just a vent.

DaizyDuke's picture

Ignore him... stop being so predictable. He knows the game and you're allowing him to continue playing. Let him be on some other schmucks team if he wants to play these stupid games.

I'm not trying to knock you but I have NEVER been able to understand these relationships where people break up and get back togther 42 times.... you break up for a reason and honey, in most cases, people DON'T change, so that reason you broke up to begin with is going to be the same reason you break up the 43rd time. Why put yourself through this??

Auteur's picture

Check it out Raindrop:

Apparent lack of remorse[13] or empathy for others. Studies show they self-report the same lack of feeling.[14]

No conscience (no concern for right or wrong)[15],

although they may pretend to have one.[16]

Persistent lying or stealing[17]

Aggressive and extensive manipulation of others (people used a pawns against individuals selected as targets) towards the end of domination and control at the expense of victims.[18]

Using ethical standards to entrap others while ignoring all ethics personally (spiderweb tactics, the web is made of ethical rules, and the person with APD is the predator at the center of the web).[19]

Cruelty to animals[20]

Poor behavioral controls — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper

A history of childhood conduct disorder[21]

Recurring difficulties with the law (in some cases, others are unethical but avoid prison) [22]

Promiscuity
Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others[23]

Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights

Inability to tolerate boredom, extreme feelings of emptiness when not stimulated[24]

Extreme egotism combined with rage-driven insecurity (rage may be direct or may be hidden, poisonous and passive-aggressive/covert).[25]

Poor or abusive relationships

Extreme arrogance (although it may be hidden in order to deceive others).[26]

Irresponsible work behavior[27]

Disregard for personal safety[28]

May experience fear as a pleasant emotion (a mild thrill) while being incapable of feeling terror, even in situations that would terrify most others.[29]

Thinks that everyone else is like them, only inferior (thinks everyone else is also sociopathic or is APD like them, although less intelligent, and more gullible). Doesn't know what love or caring is, so can't imagine that anyone else really feels it. Others must be faking.[30]

Emotionally color-blind (with the exception of anger, jealously, humour, lust and possibly mild fear).[31]

Does feel pleasure when controlling others.[32]

Can not feel love. Does not know what it is. When others express love towards them, they see this as a weakness and try to use it to their advantage.[33]

Are very good actors.[34] They have been acting all their lives, so many are very good at it (some less so).[35]
In many cases can trick people for years.[36]

In group situations can become power-brokers and serial-bullies (the leader of the pack).[37]

Many in the group will have no idea they are being fooled by an APD or sociopath.[38]

Such groups will always have a series of targets (individuals who the APD is leading the group to attack or victimize).[39]

There is always a "good" reason (story made up by the ADP and his close cronies) for why each victim must be abused by the group, this way good people can be used by the APD to do bad things.[40]

Itiswhatitis's picture

If it's over for good then just ignore him or block his number. He will get the picture when he doesn't hear from you after awhile.

stpmom2b's picture

I'm sorry but how old are you? This screams high school to me. Just move on and find a real man. Any gig who plays these games is not really that into you.