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a form of disengagement no more gifts

SugarSpice's picture

after years of buying gifts that go unappreciated i think of all the good things about disengagement.

now i have more money to spend on myself.

i recall one time is sent a surrprise gift of a kitchen appliance to one sd. she called me up confused as if no one had ever sent her a gift. it is true. bm never sends her anything unless its an occasion and then its really cheap crap. she goes running to dh begging for things and he buys her expensive gives that outshine the gifts of her husband.

i am sure she is using this as she loved to cook but she never said anything about it after a short thank you.

never again.

i come across things in my day that i know the skids would love to have and i used to pause thinking of buying it for them. now i just look and think about their selfishness and move on.

more nice things for me!

CANYOUHELP's picture

The need to be included slowly fades when you know it is impossible, as well as thoughts and attempts to be part of a family who has decided you are odd woman out....lol

SugarSpice's picture

"As Dimished said, it is humiliating. You wind up willingly prostrating yourself to stepchildren who will step on you again in return. Might as well have a "kick me" sign permanently tattooed on our backs."

well said. i still have those feelings from time to time because i am naturally considerate. but no more. i contemplate buying and them put the item back. i am happy i feel this way now and dont feel i need to buy things for them any more.

Aniki's picture

SA, that is it in a nutshell. I said it before... I decided to stop reaching out. It's just asking to get my hand slapped.

DaniAM73's picture

Yeah I had to stop as well. It wasn't appreciated and I definitely saw that I was being used. Like you all have said I have more money to spend on myself. DH, BM and MIL are more than capable of giving gifts.

DaniAM73's picture

Yeah I had to stop as well. It wasn't appreciated and I definitely saw that I was being used. Like you all have said I have more money to spend on myself. DH, BM and MIL are more than capable of giving gifts.