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Food as discipline

MarknKC's picture

I first wanted to say, I spent several hours looking through this site and found some of the most interesting, helpful and saddest situations. I think to myself at times, Why is this so tough, emotional draining, and truly the children get lost. Robbed of childhoods, normalcy, go grow up too fast all because two people who made a baby could not get along any longer.-

My daughter is one of those victims-

She is 7 years old, bright, loves to read, art, and cheer just like any other normal little girl. The problem happens, when problems in her life arise and her birth mother does not understand how to ask her questions and wait for her to reply. My daughter is like me, hates confrontation. Her birth mom, loves to show or points out ever detail of someones weakness. My daughter came to me about 3 months ago. Telling me her mom gave her Vinegar when she was lying. The problem is, her mom did not ask the right questions, formed her opinion of what happened, I asked my daughter the same questions looking for the beginning of what happened. When my daughter story finally sounded like we had gotten to what really happened, I address the situation, never raising my voice. and then explained to her what my daughter had done was wrong, But more importantly how her birth mom handled it was wrong also. I then address the issue with her mother, and our daughter was sitting right there. The anger that came over my Daughter mother was fierce. I knew the look, she was giving this 7 year old little girl. I also apologized the next day to my daughter in the middle, that night again my daughter called me.. Crying saying her mom was taking away her art board, her doll house, and a tea set she had had ever since she was a toddler. and Making her give them away, for lying to her.- Ultimately nothing happened.. I had to explain to my daughter mother, the crime of her not "quote" telling the truth was one thing. but taking away 3 of her favorite toys was a slight over kill. To date nothing has been given away.

So I phone my daughter's mother and asked, then begged her not to use food as a discipline, So from Vinegar to Mustard we go. I get a call from the doctor letting me know that my daughter now needs to see a specialist, for her stomach- So I called my daughters mother again begging her to stop with the food as punishment. Last night, I received another call, this time my daughter was on the phone crying out. Dad mom is now putting Mustard in my mouth I could her my daughters birth mother yelling at her-out of control again.. Calling her a lair, screaming at her, and I asked my daughter to give the phone to her mom, and then she proceed to state- I will not live with another lair, nor raise one, That was directed at me. My guess she hates me. !! Then I hear her forcing the mustard down her throat. The game plan was put into place the next time this happened my daughter was to call- at the age of 7 she did just that. Now I need to be a stand up DAD and protect her- But I am not sure what to do. Any thoughts?.

ThatGirl's picture

Are you in a position to fight for more custody of your daughter? Have you been documenting the abuse? Because this sounds like abuse to me. Do you have something in writing from her doctor?

MarknKC's picture

Thank you to those who took the time to reply- It has been so odd, recently it appears after me getting involved the my daughters birth mom, explaining the punishment must equal the crime-, and food is nutritional, not a form of punishment- Wow . After 7 years you think would get easier.

Thank you again