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Follow up to Surprise Graduation

Elite2020's picture

Soooooooooo...... DH's mom told him to do a drive by. Wait 15 to 20 minutes after party has begun. Go to BM's house, call SK or text and tell SK to come out front. Oh wait....wear a mask, say hello and leave. 

Does anyone else think this is crazy? Or am I just being a witch? It's funny to me because just last month DH had to tell BM off about disrespecting his mother. Now his mother is concerned about what she will say if DH doesn't make an appearance. 

I don't remember which post I read and who wrote it, but one of you brilliant souls said before long the new wife is treated like the ex- wife and BM is the wife. Or something like that. Whoever said it please correct me if I twisted your words. 

WOW!!! I am really angry at my MIL right now!!!!!

*****see previous post Celebrations....Spouses....SO's OH My*******

hereiam's picture

Your husband can (and should) make up his own mind about what he wants to do and how he wants to handle this.

My DH didn't care one iota what anybody thought about how he handled (did not go to) ANY event that BM held or was in attendence.


Elite2020's picture

I agree! He should not care what anyone thinks and last I checked he doesn't live under his mother's roof. 

Kes's picture

"DH's mom told him to do......"  how old is he, 12?  Surely his mother doesn't get to tell him what to do?  Hasn't he got a brain in his head and reasonable powers of decision making?   MIL's concern about BM's feelings is nothing to do with your DH.  

Elite2020's picture

Seems like he is 12 years old. MIL loves to tell her adult children what they should and should not do. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, who cares what MIL says? "Thanks for the suggestion, Mom, gotta run, bye!"

He's a grown man, he can decide how to handle his problems.

Elite2020's picture

Yup. Honestly I wouldn't go. I would say okay I am right on top of that Rose, and then do what was best for me. 

Sandybeaches's picture

Who has a party now anyway???  It should all be drive by!  I have seen a few tents going up this week around here and I am thinking who is having a party during a pandemic?  But that's another story ..

What is making MIL care what your DH does?  Has she always been that way with BM or is this new behavior? My MIL was a little to friendly with BM and it took some time but it eventually came back to bite her! That was sure fun to watch!!  

Your DH does not need to attend a party or a drive by for any reason.  He can explain to SK before or after the party the reasons he is not going.  

Elite2020's picture

This is new behavior. MIL and BM do not like each other. I believe to a certain point BM was jealous of MIL. Oh this will definitely come back to bite her in the butt. As it is now Skids hardly call their grandparents. So that might be her rationale. 

I am curious to see what DH does. I refuse to say one word. 

notarelative's picture

In my mind I see DH following the advice, waiting until the party has started, driving up, calling, and the phone not being answered. Or being answered with if you loved me, you'd get out of the car and come to the party. 

Interupting a party with your (MIL's) agenda, come out and see me, never works out well. 

While I think BM is a fool for having this now, she is. DH should either attend (and I don't think this is the right choice) or stay away. He can see SK at another time, tell SK how proud he is of the accomplishment, and give the gift at another time. 




Elite2020's picture

I definitely see all of that happening. Oh did I mention graduation gifts were given at the original graduation date. Also we will be attending an outdoor graduation ceremony. Social distancing guidelines are set in place. 

For me if I were DH it would be a hard pass.