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First time filing tax returns since being married = NIGHTMARE!

christinen's picture

So DH and I have been married since April so this is the first time we are filing taxes since being married (neither one of us were married before either so it's new for both of us).

Here comes the trouble...

I have come to find out DH has been claiming exempt all year so he doesn't have to pay as much in taxes each paycheck. I have also come to find out DH owes almost $4000 to the IRS due to a gambling winning that he did not claim on his taxes last year.

I was in grad school last year finishing up my master's degree and have also been paying on my student loans. My tuition credit that I should be getting would be about $2000 and the student loan interest deduction would be about $1000 so I should get about $3000 back just for that and then whatever I get for income tax refund.

My dilemma is that if I file married separate, I am not able to get the education deductions ($3000). If I file married joint, my refund will go to pay for DH's mistakes.

Has anyone had any issues like this and if so, how did you handle it?? Please help me!!

cant win for losin's picture

shouldn't your tax person be able to advise you on which way would be best to file?

christinen's picture

Well I am screwed either way thanks to DH but just wondering if taxes are a common issue for stepfamilies and how other people handle it.

oldone's picture

No if your husband is a decent fair person he will give you the money that you would have gotten for a refund. If he wasn't married to you wouldn't he have to come up with the tax money?

Redsonya's picture

It sucks, but here is the deal:

1. If you file married separately, the tax rate for each of you is much higher and it sounds like you can't take advantage of that $3,000 without DH filing with you anyways (if I understand correctly).
2. DH is going to end up having to pay back that tax, which will end up hurting you somehow anyways since you are married.

Basically, it sounds like throwing out money that you as a couple could benefit from. It is a bummer that he claimed exempt and had this gambling tax, but let him know that next year, you BOTH work on your W-2's together and with the aid of tax guy. He pays most of the taxes and when you get a refund next year - its yours to use as you see fit.

StickAFork's picture

EXEMPT?!? WTF?!?
Oh, no... SO not good.
Any way you cut it, there will be some suckage. Just the nature of the beast. However, you can maximize credits/deductions/tax rates by filing joint. Then, you'll want to file the injured spouse/innocent spouse. Prove the debt was his alone before your marriage.
However, the exempt thing will be a shared shitfest. Sorry. Sad

My XH royally f'd over taxes. I had no idea you could actually GET a refund until I divorced him.

sbm014's picture

This is true and both forms are a wonderful resource for people in this position. Many don't know about it nor is it advertised as the government is greedy but both very good forms.

SMof2Girls's picture

This is correct .. you can only file Head of Household if you support (and claim) a qualifying person (dependant child, relative, etc).

You also have to provide MORE than half of the cost of keeping the home .. so it stands to reason that only one person in each household can be filing under this option.

I suppose you CAN .. but it's not correct .. and your DH better hope he doesn't get flagged for an audit.

christinen's picture

Thank you all for the responses and advice! I will definitely look into that injured/innocent spouse form! & yes, the gambling winning is from last year before we were married. He did not claim it as income on his taxes and that's why he owes the IRS now. & yes, it has been accruing interest and fees. The original amount was only about $1200 I believe and now it is up to $3700! As for him claiming exempt all year.. I don't even know what to say.. I just found out about this and am PISSED that his bad decisions are affecting me! I actually just found all this out yesterday when I went online to do an estimated refund (we haven't gotten all our papers in yet but I was just curious to see what we would be getting). I told DH to change his withholdings TODAY- he is NOT exempt & should not be claiming that he is.

I am FURIOUS!!!

I don't want my refund to go to pay for his stupid choices Sad

SMof2Girls's picture

He can file an amended 2011 return and claim that $1200. That would eliminate it being counted against you in 2012.

As for the 2012 exemption issue .. I can't honestly disagree with him. As an accountant, I can tell you that financial advisors won't suggest you use the Federal government as a savings account. GOOD tax planning gets you to a point of owing taxes at filing time, or receiving a very small refund. The idea being that by overpaying your taxes throughout the year, the government is taking an interest free loan from you. They only pay it back when you file for a refund. Most financial advisors would suggest the alternate; pay in less and risk owing some at the end of the year versus the other way around.

That being said, you are required to pay estimated taxes if your expected amount due is above a certain % of your income/tax bill.

christinen's picture

Right, DH is not exempt. He makes $13 an hour and the minimum wage in our state is less than $8 an hour. I agree with not paying more than you actually owe. The problem with what my DH is doing is that he doesn't have the money to pay what he owes and it is falling on me and he thinks there is nothing wrong with it. He even said something about me caring more about money than our relationship. Smh. That's $3000 I would have gotten had he been a responsible adult and not a manchild. I'm just so disgusted. Thank you very much for the advice though.

SMof2Girls's picture

I understand .. I didn't mean to state that he was actually exempt, but that he should rightfully be increasing his claimed exemptions to reduce his monthly tax payment.

I know I misstated that.

Maybe you should remind him that money is a leading cause for divorce .. coupled with all the other BS that stepfamilies have to endure, it's in everyone's best interest for you two to visit a financial & tax planner TOGETHER. Make him accountable, but include him in the process too.

I'm sorry this sucks right now Sad

christinen's picture

Thank you so much, SMof2Girls. & yes, I have read a lot about how financial issues are a leading cause for divorce- that plus the skid issues have me going crazy!!

Going to a tax planner together is a great idea! I will talk to him about that today.

amber3902's picture

"He even said something about me caring more about money than our relationship."

That is such BS. He is just trying to make you feel guilty.

This is EXACTLY what my exH used to say to me. This after putting rims for his car on layaway, this after buying himself a surround sound stereo system, this after buying himself a computer. He made all these purchases without consulting or even talking to me first about them and I'm stuck paying all the bills for the house.

No need to ask why he's my exH now, is there?

christinen's picture

Yeah, it’s complete BS. Of course I care about the money, it’s $3000! That’s a lot of money to me. And it’s money that I paid out of my pocket for tuition and student loans so it’s not like I’m asking for handouts or anything of that nature. I am entitled to that refund and I have gotten it every year that I was in school up until now, thanks to stupid DH!

I seriously don’t understand how people can make such ridiculous decisions knowing someone else is going to be affected by them. When you’re single, do what you want. But when you’re married, you need to think about your spouse and not just yourself. It’s just selfish!

& yes, I totally see why your ex is your ex! Sheesh!

Orange County Ca's picture

Cheat on taxes, cheat on you? Just sayin......

Obviously the honorable thing to do is for your taxes to be calculated as if he didn't make those poor decisions and the amount you should have been refunded he should pay to you to spend (or reduce debt) as you see fit.

I wouldn't have any children with the guy until you're sure he's a keeper. Everyone should know that if you under-withold on payroll deductions you'll not only owe the taxes that should have been paid but also interest and penalties.

He filled out a tax form when he got his winnings and that is a clue to anyone that the tax man knows he won the money. (He can offset winnings by losses but he should have kept the losing tickets or other proof).

All things considered I'd say this fellow isn't too bright at least in financial matters (he may be an Einstein in others) so I'd take it easy before making a family.

christinen's picture

Thanks, Orange County Ca. You’re right, DH is a complete moron when it comes to finances. He actually told me he sees nothing wrong with him claiming exempt so taxes aren’t taken out of his paycheck (and yes, he does realize that he is not exempt- he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal). Sometimes I can’t even have a conversation with him because we are on such different pages when it comes to this stuff. I have a master’s degree in business (but I do not have any tax experience, hence this post) so I am pretty good with finances and things of that nature. It irks the hell out of me when he says things like that. I tried explaining to him our only options are to file jointly or separately. I explained to him he will not be getting the Earned Income Credit this year because he isn’t eligible if he files separately and he won’t be eligible if we file jointly either because I make a lot more money than he does and that puts us over the limit. His response? He will just claim single! Oh ok, just go ahead and claim single when you are married, nothing wrong with that, right? My God. It’s like talking to a brick wall.