First Car for SS Help!! Insurance/Registration????
Forums:
So 16 (almost 17) yr old SS wants a car. We are willing to get 1st car, used nothing too expensive. SS will get license end of this month. My concern is if we pay for car. Shouldn’t BM pay for insurance? Until SS gets a job? Also who’s name should the registration go in if we are not willing to pay insurance?! Not sure we trust BM
Why not wait to get the car
Why not wait to get the car until SS has a job and can pay for his own insurance? If you put the car in your names, handle the insurance yourselves and have SS pay you for it. There's too much potential liability for you to rely on a teenager handling it. Is the expectation that this car will go to BM's house? If so, make sure no one else in her house is driving the car or you'll have insurance/liability issues. Can SS be trusted to tell BM no if she wants to use the car? Do you trust SS enough to put car in his name?
SS wants a car. I did too at
SS wants a car. I did too at that age. Did I get a car? No. I got to borrow one of my parent's cars on the weekend. My kids wanted a car. They didn't get one until they could pay insurance and gas.
Check with your insurance company in the rules for your state. In some states a minor can register a car in his name and obtain his own insurance.
We have no problem buying a
We have no problem buying a cheap used car. We can afford it, but we don’t want to be responsible for the insurance. BM doesn’t work and she makes excuses not to. BM tried to make my husband look bad in front of the kids by saying “he won’t do something” or Dad won’t buy this or won’t buy that etc...
Check with your insurance
Check with your insurance company. State rules vary on registration and insurance for minors, and custody can determine who is legally responsible to carry the insurance. If SS is going to take the car to BM's, you are going to want to be sure your legal bases are covered. I'd be concerned about my liability for someone other than SS driving the car,if it were garaged other than on my property, if I had paid for the car.
I wouldn't worry about BM trying to make DH look bad if SS doesn't get a car. That's Disney parent thinking.
I agree that’s Disney
I agree that’s Disney parenting. We definitely don’t do that. However she is a manipulative person and tries to make “friends” with the boys & belittle dad so things need to be very black & white.
The car will be the cheapest
The car will be the cheapest part of this, insurance rates are high for young males. I wouldn't count on BM paying for it, so don't buy it unless you guys want to cover insurance as well.
Unless your DH has a very unusual CO,
he cannot make his ex pay. As to whether she should pay, my response is no parent is obligated to pay for a car, and as PP noted, insurance might be the most expensive part of it.
It would be wrong of either parent to dump on the other for not paying for care or insurance.
I take it this kid is in HS. More important to me than the car, is has dad spoke to kid re after HS plans. Is it college or work, and how will kid get there?
Yes, unless you make the
Yes, unless you make the decision with BM, don’t buy the car expecting her to pay. That’s you guys trying to make her look bad. She’s not obligated to get him a car (frankly, I think it’s pretty dangerous to get such a young driver his own car, myself).
In many states
In many states the car has to be registered, insured and titled to the same person. In most it has to be 2 out of 3.
I think you are doing enough by getting the car. You don't want him on your insurance when you will not be the ones to supervise his driving habits. Such as what time he is home and if he drinks since he lives with BM.
I would tell a few white lies to get out of it like you checked with your insurance company and they said he had to live with you or your house or car insurance would go up and actually your car insurance might with an inexperienced driver.
White lies never hurt and get you out of a lot of things I would get used to telling them now. :)
uh, I think this is more than a white lie
This kid WANTS to move in with dad, but dad thinks best not to move while he is a senior in HS. There is no need to make the kid feel guilty for not moving in with dad. I think Dad can say;
A. We cannot afford a car and insurance.
B. We are uncomfortable with you having your own car until you have more driving experience
or C. Both of the above.
I will reiterate, best for dad to focus on what is this kid doing after college. I think it is helpful for parents to tell kids, we cannot afford X,Y or Z. It is good for kids to understand that money does not grow on trees.
PS The problem with lies is if you get caught, you lose credibiltiy
Where does OP say
Where does OP say SS wants to move in with dad? I don't see that in this post.
Unless the kid calls the parents insurance company there is no way he is ever going to find out that the information isn't true and actually as I said it more than likely is.
Maybe I have missed something but I am not sure why the focus would be what this kid is doing after college and realivant to this conversation about the here and now of buying a car.
I think SS should get a job and pay his own insurance. If someone is nice enough to get a car for him, he should pay the rest himself.
If you go back to OP's Thread on Addiction Issues
You can see the issue with the boys preferring dad, but OP's DH is hesitant to move the oldest during his senior year.
There is no need to lie.
I think the insurance is too expensive for a kid in HS to earn. Yes, I tend to look at the long term.
not lying at all, purchasing
not lying at all, purchasing a car and that's it. Oldest needs to be able to get to school in a reliable way as well as work and college obviously BM cant do it.
@STaround
Oldest is very involved with school which is why we wouldn't move him...ya know...best interest of the child here- child is never home BECAUSE of school activities....so this has nothing to do with the Car situation, it has everything to do with the child being able to get to a job, college etc. and start life as an adult. thanks for the input though!
If you buy the car....expect
If you buy the car....expect to fully cover ALL expenses...insurance, gas, and any repairs.
My DH got this wild idea for about 2 hours about buying SD a car and then splitting all the costs with BM....I quickly shut him down with a firm and hard NO. We would have had some serious issues in our marriage and I'd have been faced with a high possibility of separation from him if he bought the car as I knew how much money it would cost us in the end.....and on top of the crazy high CS...it was not happening.
I hear ya! We to pay insane
I hear ya! We to pay insane amount of CS/SS - which is why I feel we already pay for everything. We made it very clear we will purchase the car and a job will have to be in place for insurance before the car is bought unless BM wants to pay for it not discussing it any further with them.
I agree, that if you want to
I agree, that if you want to give him car then you are responsible for insurance (not bio mom). Good idea to make him pay for gas and insurance but ultimately you are responisble for it.
My recommendation is: you purcahse the car, if SS pays you the insurance and he makes sure he is the only driver, then he is allowed to use it. If he does not pay insurance or someone else is driving then he is not allowed to use it (whether he gets money from work or BM is not your problem).
Alternatively, you can give the money to SS and have him and BM take care of buying the car and insurance as they see fit (or to spend the money however he likes). Not the way I would go about it but it would keep any responsibility from you.
Hypothetical Question
How would you and your DH react if the BM could magically buy the SS a car then asked you to pay for the insurance? It seems this decision is either a joint one (this finances are split) or one you and your DH make (and you are responsible for all the costs). If the BM is not part of the decision, why should she contribute financially?
she is the one who set him up
she is the one who set him up to "Ask Dad to buy you a car"...therefore she has taken active participation in this. Dad already pays for everything since she doesn't work.
If I were in the blended
If I were in the blended family oppostion I would not participate in your and DH's collective choice of gift for the Skid. If BM does not agree to participate then you have a choice. Either don't buy the car or buy the car and cover the insurance and maintenance costs until the Skid has a job to cover those costs.
We bought my SS a car as a combo HS graduation/Christmas/Enlistment gift. We covered all costs until he was stationed overseas at which point we transferred title to him and required that he get his own insurance. The car was a surprise so it was titled in my name when we bought it. We gained benefit in keeping it on our insurance so that we could maintain a policy though we did not own any other vehicles. We wanted coverage for rental cars and when we drove my parent's vehicles when we were in the US on leave from international assignments.
Just my thoughts of course.
We bought a cheap 3rd car for
We bought a cheap 3rd car for "ourselves" that Killjoy15 can borrow when she gets her license. There is no way she will ever get to take it to Satan's house, or Satan will drive it just for the sake of getting over on DH.
Killjoy can use it to drive to her ECs, so DH doesn't have to drive her.
When Killjoy goes to college, she can take the bus, like we did.