Finances for SK?
I'm curious about how others handle finances with their SK.
When DH and I first met, I'd like to think I contributed when appropriate. Clothes for birthday, toys on Christmas, if she ever "needed" anything, but Dad was in a pinch, I would grab it (school supplies, medicine, etc.) I honestly felt like I treated her very well.
Fast forward 5 years, and now we have 50/50. SD10 gets (too nice) of gifts from my family. Patagonia jackets, small jewelry, etc. At first I didn't mind because DH and I (and definitely not BM) purchase expensive items. More recently, I have asked my mom to stop gifting such items unfortunately. As later I found out they were being sold on FB marketplace by BM. (Yes, I screenshotted for later in case we ever need it).
DH and I tell SD to bring such items back to our house (or don't bring them to begin with). SD gets upset if she leaves things over there on our week. But it's an endless cycle. I have given up the fight of "What are you wearing on Fridays?" She has "left" nike sneakers, north face jackets, necklaces, a generic fitbit, and the list goes on.
Instead, I just don't buy ANY of those items anymore. If SD needs shoes, then DH needs to take care of it. Along with clothes. I have cut out any unnecessary items like necklaces, earrings, etc. I just don't buy any of that anymore. 1. SD doesn't take care of her stuff anyway 2. BM is likely to sell it.
If DH asks me to buy something (for ex. new lunchbox), I say okay, but then ask for his card. I'm sure as heck not going to be buying any of that stuff now! I think DH understands I don't want to be wasting money.
What is your situation like? Do you help out financially? Is helping out *zero* money wise the norm? How do you handle the back and forth of SKs "stuff"?