Filthy SD
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SD has been here since Thursday and hasn't showered, or changed her underwear (according to her she only changes underwear when she showers). I keep telling her "SD, you haven't showered in x amount of days" she had excuses like she was going to wait until after she went fishing, OK, so now she's been fishing still no shower, then she was going to wait until she painted at her cousin's house, OK so now she painted, still no shower, then she was going to wait until she went to an amusement park, OK, she's done that, still no shower... this 13yo girl is soooooooo smelly, no matter how many times I remind her!
What does her father say
What does her father say about this? Why does he not realize he has a filthy daughter?
He reminds her too, but she
He reminds her too, but she just gives the sake excuses. He figures she's a teenager, and it's her body, but ugh she so sweaty, fishy, and dirty z
Ew
Cuz we know where that fishy smell typically originates...
That's true, but she also
That's true, but she also had been fishing with her uncle 3 days ago... but yes, not changing her underwear for a week also made other things fishy. I'm justso thankful that she showered today!
Lol, my Skid used to shower every day and still smelled
Finally I had him shower in front of me (wearing a bathing suit) so I could trouble shoot the problem. The problem was that he never washed his hair. He would scrub his body well. But... when washing his hair he would just turn the shampoo bottle upside down on top of his head and squeeze then scrub away. His shampoo bottle had likely been empty for months. So.... I advised that he put the shampoo in his hand then use the shampoo in his hand to scrub his head... and of course to put shampoo on the grocery list on the fridge before he ran out.
I give him crap about that even now... almost 10 years later. There are some things that parents just have to give their kids crap about after all.
Thats hilarious. I am a
Thats hilarious. I am a parent that still washed their kids hair by the time they were 10. heck every now and then (once every few months) my kids ask me to wash their hair for them (13 and 14 just head in the tub with all clothes on) apparently I am just much better at it still than them. I scrub vigorously, whereas they may not be scrubbing as much. but SD doesn't want my help, her hair, even though she FINALLY took a shower this morning her hair looks like a greasy rats nest full of flakes. she says I hurt her scalp when I help. They all have plenty of shampoo, and conditioner. At this point she may need several shampoos just to get all the grease out.
Lol, you wash hair like my mom used to when we were kids.
I used to bitch about her nails on my scalp, it hurts, etc, etc, etc....
As an adult... I would love to have mom wash my hair again. It would feel amazing. But, I would never ask.
Now my little brother (47), he would ask. After all... he is the bay.....bee.
Lol I have a baby bee brother
Lol I have a baby bee brother too, he still loves with my parents lol
Oh, mine is actually great and we are very close
He is a high powered international corporate COO and I am very proud of him.
But... he is and always will be the bay.... bee.
I've got the same problem in
I've got the same problem in different ways. When I met SDs they didn't bathe. Ever. They were 7 and 9 and DH never made sure they bathed. So I started a routine. When that fell apart (among other things) I found this site and disengaged from it.
From then on, I've never insisted SD14 bathe, ever. DH has to do it. She does it more regularly now, but she'll put on the same dirty underwear and socks she's worn for days, and use a towel that's been on the floor for weeks to dry. It's just gross. But I say nothing. I say nothing about her not brushing her teeth or washing her face.
SD12 I can insist she shower - I'm less disengaged from her. But I have to have a reason, like an event or we're all going somwhere. I can't do it on any regular night. She does listen to reason though. DH simply does not bother or just doesn't see the problem.
If your SD does not listen to you and you cannot "make" her shower, then be done with it. If my SDs are dirty and refuse to bathe I don't go with them. I will not be in a car with them. I will not sit next to them. I will not be subject to B.O. that's easily remedied by basic hygiene.
I also try to disengage, I
I also try to disengage, I just say things like, hey it's been a like 4 days since you've showered. not asking her to do anything, just making her and DH aware that it's been a while since she's showered. he'll be the one to say, "SD, you should go take a shower." Which she replied with her "well i was going to wait until after the fishing trip" which to that DH tells her to make sure as soon as she gets back. then it gets "forgotten". a day or 2 goes by, and I say, hey, you realize SD hasn't taken a shower yet, right?
If she wasn't such a clinger, I wouldn't mind, but she likes to be around everyone, which OMG you can smell this girl coming from a mile away.
I get that some kids are just stinky, my oldest (14) can take a shower, scrub her armpits, get out, put on deodorant and STILL by the end of the day REEK. But SD isn't even showering.
Yes, I used to "semi
Yes, I used to "semi-disengage" as well, but gave that up. I found it more effective to just NOT be around the smelly person. I make it clear to DH that I will not be doing X if SD is smelling. In your case, you may have to go hardball - and leave every time she comes near and smells. You'll have to deal with your DH, but if he's oblivious his eyes have to be opened.
I don't get these SDs. Don't
I don't get these SDs. Don't their veejays itch?
When Killjoy14 was 8, DH informed her that she was required to bathe at least alternate days, morning or evening. He refused to discuss it, his word was law. The little bish was PISSED about being told what to do, but she did obey, or she would have lost her choice of morning or evening. Now it is a habit, and she chooses to bathe daily.
Thats my rule too, at LEAST
Thats my rule too, at LEAST every other day, esp as my kids have really dry hair and sensitive skin. bathing TOO much dries their hair out and makes their skin irritated
On this topic, as with most, I keep it simple
If someone reeks, they are not allowed near me or to accompany me anywhere. PERIOD!
I announce when I am going somewhere and if I know based on my interface history with that person that they require a detailed list of tasks they must accomplish prior to that event I will write it on the proverbial 2x4 and beat them over the head with it (figuratively of course). If they don't engage, they don't go with me and their presence is not tolerated when I return.
There were several occasions when I left my skid because he was not keeping his head in the personal hygiene game or had lost the plot on wearing clean and presentable clothing.
What ultimately fixed the problem comprehensively was ... sending him to Military School. They don't tolerate personal grunge in that environment. In my own Military School experience it always amazed me how many New Cadets would show up for in processing with their parents in a condition not fit for public presence. Nasty dirty hair, clothes that hadn't been laundered seemingly for weeks, teeth that were so dirty and nasty they were somewhere between florescent green and black in color.
I recall my in processing day as a New Cadet when I was 16. When I was going through sign in, class registration, having uniforms issued, and through the barber shop... I was a bit confused about how much attention I received and the comments I got along the lines of... "Finally, one who knows how to present himself. this one will do well." The barbers were particularly impressed that I obviously regularly washed my hair. That first day followed me through the next 3 years.
A few months in to his own Military School experience my Skid thanked me for making sure he was clean and in decent clothes on his first day, that I had trained him in the Rags' best shine winning shoe and brass shinning methods (thanks dad, for passing that knowledge on to me), and for raising him with manners and to show respect to adults and authority figures (Yes/No Ma'am/Sir when being addressed by adults).
These things are not parenting rocket science. They are basics that should be universal in our society. It shocks me how prevalent nasty funk is for many people in our society today. Particularly kids... even when those kids are accompanied by their parents.
TMI warning lol
My SD takes a shower everyday but has a terrible nasty woman smell...WTF Not too sure what causes that other than having relations but ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Munchkin almost 12, and has to be told to change her clothes
Munchkin SD11 almost 12 - she gets shiny and her feet smell too. Her hair is long and glossy and gets greasy after 4 days. She can go a week or more without bathing or showering, so I bug her, and mention it to her father who is very particular. He is the one who is always telling her to change her clothes.
I was SO happy when she came up to me a few weeks ago and asked me to show her how to cleanse her face. I stopped EVERYTHING.
But yes. I wonder what determins how much kids like to clean them selves?