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FIL only bought Christmas present for skids and skids cousins

Misstepped's picture

Submitted by Misstepped on Sun, 01/03/2021 - 4:31am

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General Discussion

Came over Xmas day with "gifts for my grandkids" everyone but our bio. Bio is only a baby (6 months old) but still plays and reads books etc. 

is this normal to not give baby a gift at xmas just because he doesn't know what's going on? I found it strange. He is still a grandson. 

skids got showered at our house, and their mothers, grandpa gave them 2 gifts, not 1 each. 2!!!!! 

FIL's partner did end up getting baby something small herself, so I let it go and thought maybe that was her job and he took care of the other kids...but then she came over this week with yet another gift for the skids because they didn't get one from her on Xmas day (they weren't with us) and she didn't want them "to miss out"

Miss out? please.
 

 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Sun, 01/03/2021 - 10:29am

Hard to say if this was a slight against you or just practical. I almost didn't get anything for my baby niece because anything I got her would have been useless in a few months. I opted to giving cash that could go in her savings account. 

What does your SO have to say about FIL's behavior?

Sandybeaches's picture

Submitted by Sandybeaches on Sun, 01/03/2021 - 9:29am

I would never leave anyone out irregardless of age, relationship or presence of mind.  However since the only other 2 responses both have an opposite opinion, I guess it could be an oversight.  

I don't know your story or relationship with FIL but my gut says the baby is not related to her and left out on purpose.  This is a shame if she is that petty.  When your child grows up she will look like the total,  mean sprirted person shall we say for lack of a better term, that she is. 

I know of 2 situations that are just the opposite.  My sisters FIL buys for her son with her new husband, as well as her own grandchildren and my mother did it with my sons brother and sister from my ex-husband and his new wife. It is a very kind gesture and the right thing to do.  They are children after all and do not understand relationships until something like this happens.  

Misstepped's picture

Submitted by Misstepped on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 12:19am

Relationship is good generally with FIL, and yes baby is related. He is his biological grandson. 

Sandybeaches's picture

Submitted by Sandybeaches on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 1:46pm

 My mind read that acronym wrong.  I thought it was Former Mother in law.  Don't ask me why I added letters .... LOL That is my reason for my response.

ok father in law..... not sure why that would be.  Although did he shop alone?  Is he still with MIL?  If he shopped alone it may be he was not thinking of the baby. Still not right but could be unintentional.  What does your DH say?

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sun, 01/03/2021 - 11:06am

I almost wish my in laws would just leave our BD out. They buy brand name things for SD, spend hundreds of dollars and then bargain barrel shop for my BD to the point that it's hard to even be gracious.

BD got halloween themed clothes from an outlet for Christmas. I don't mind bargain shopping but it's really awkward opening halloween themed clothing with the brand marked off because it was from a reseller and then seeing SD open her Fila, Hollister and Nike clothes.

Then there are the times my BDs gifts are cousin's handmedowns packaged like new. Again, I don't mind handmedowns but I do mind when they are presented like new gifts. Like jeez you didn't want to bother spending any money on BD? There have been some that had the cousins name tags still in them, wrapped up and given like a gift. Cheap bastards.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 9:14am

That is so awful for your BD

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 10:28am

Did he not get skids a christmas gift when they were babies? I also have to wonder since FIL GF brought gift for the skids after did FIL bitch she left the precious skids out? 

I  see any slight as a slight when it comes to stephole situations. Because it usually is. 

 

 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 1:36pm

Insensitive assholes should not be tolerate regardless of why they may be.   I would let your IL's know that it was rude to leave out your child.

Even if an aging IL can't come up with a baby approrpirate gift, a savings bond for babies is a great idea.  It is future focused and in the baby's name.

Sandybeaches's picture

Submitted by Sandybeaches on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 1:52pm

"Insensitive assholes should not be tolerate regardless of why they may be. "

I think we are jumping the gun here.  I think a little investigating is needed before we take such a drastic turn on motive.  Could be an honest oversight, let's find out before we destroy a relationship.  Just saying .... 

Only OP can know if this is out of character for her FIL and how to proceed.