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Fiancee gives ex-wife rights to adopt their children. Is it possible?

notimpossible's picture

The Bio-mother has them every other weekend and the children return to me with attitude telling me that their real mom allows them to do anything they want. My Fiancée and I are fighting over this all the time. I just found out that Bio-mom is getting married and has 2-more children by her new boyfriend and asking full custody of 3-bio children back from my Fiancée . I was so upset and began to cry I asked my Fiancée to move out and take his children and mama drama somewhere else. My Fiancee spoke to an attorney and he said the other option is to have EX-wife and new hubby to adopt the children and you will never have to see them again… I TOLD HIM DO IT!

Anon2009's picture

I don't think he should do it. His daughter got molested by one of BM's exes and BM did nothing about it. I deal with the same sort of BM and a similar situation. BM allowed my SDs to get molested multiple times and we have custody of them as a result. BMs like these should not have custody and your FH has a responsibility to protect his children. The attitude they return with is very typical, especially little kids. My SDs have done that too (and they're teens). DH corrects them. Does FH enforce age-appropriate punishments when the kids have an attitude?

If FH decides to give the kids up, there's a possibility that these kids will track him down when they're older and be very angry with him because his doing that will ultimately give BM the power to bring some really bad people into their lives. Are these kids getting any professional help? If FH can find a counselor who specializes in dealing with young kids who have suffered sexual abuse for the child that was molested, that can be a great thing. My SDs see a counselor who specializes in that a few times a week and it has really helped them.

You're not married to this man yet. You should think long and hard and ask yourself if you think getting married to him is a good idea. The best option for everyone involved might be to end the relationship.

Ultimately, though, these decisions have to be both yours and FH's.

VioletsareBlue's picture

I'm confused. Maybe I'm not reading it correctly. FDH said that BM wants all three SDs back full time and yo ustarted crying and asked him to move out but then when he said she can have them full time and the new husband adopt them you are OK with that? Isn't it about the same or are you worried about something else that I'm missing?

*edit: OK I read your other blog. I get it now. I agree with the other poster .. why even consider giving her any visitation that is not supervised when she abandoned the children?